The Seahorse and the Spice 🪼🎩✔

1: The Rake and the Mother

"Get out of here you ruffian! You brute! You horny bastard!"
I dodged the things that were being thrown at me and tripped over my trousers as I fell out the front door. I looked back and watched the father of the lovely young woman I was just with watching me from the doorway.
"If I ever see you anywhere near my sweet Sophia again I'll have you hanged!" he yelled at me.
I laughed and pulled my britches up, buckling them back.
"I pray, sir, if you can get the authorities to agree with you, I will gladly comply to a good hanging."
Something was thrown and I ducked as it clanged away. The door slammed and I chuckled to myself as I looked at what was thrown. A pot, by the looks of it. I shrugged and climbed into my carriage that had been waiting for me to do a bit of rutting before I headed home. Who would have known the heir to the Baron Jacoby could be such a minx in the bed! And who would have known that Lord Jacoby himself would have come home so early from the gathering and caught me doing some very unsavory things to the Lady Sophia. I haven't had so much excitement since... well... that lovely kitchen maid and her proclamation that her pregnancy was my fault.
It took a while to get to my manor that was on the other side of the country but once I got there, the footman opened the door and bowed to me.
"Lord Barma..."
I stepped out and went to the door where a maid and butler stood, the butler holding a small tray with a card on it.
"Sir, Lord Higgaby stopped by earlier and left a calling card."
"I'll go and see him sometimes later in the week. Send someone to get hot water for my bath." I ordered as I took my coat off and dropped it on the floor. "And someone get my coat before I have them removed from the house!"
I went up the stairs to my bedroom.

***********************

I opened the door and found a young maid standing next to my bed. I guess my father must have hired her, for she was young but wasn't exactly attractive. Very plain. But her breasts! Dear lord... what he had not put into her face he surely exceeded with this woman's bosom.
"Milord." She said with a curtsy. "I was sent to bathe you."
I lifted an eyebrow. "Were you? Do you plan on coming in the bath with me?"
The maid gave me a smile that did not reach her eyes, which insinuated that she was about to tell me politely to shove it.
"No, milord, I was merely sent to wash you. The hot water has not arrived as of yet if you want me to remove your clothing for you."
I lifted my other eyebrow.
"Were you instructed to do this?"
"I was taught to do this." She explained with a slow nod of her head. "Does this process displease you?"
"Not at all... it's just that Uma never does this. Then again, I wouldn't want her to do this but..."
"She said that you seem to get cleaner when another person does it for you. She had mentioned, actually, that you would not appreciate her cleaning you."
"At least the old tart is smart."
The door opened and buckets of hot water were trailed in by three butlers and one bucket by a maid. The doors closed and I looked at the maid who was patiently waiting at the side of my bed.
"What's your name?"
"Minerva." She said quickly. "Please remove your clothes and get into the bath."
"How about you help me?" I said with a grin.
The maid –Minerva? What a horrid name!- only gave me a soulless smile.
"I believe that you are capable of removing your own clothing."
I bowed my head to her and began to remove my shirt and my pants. I threw them on the bed and then removed my undergarments. I turned to her and stretched just to tease the maid but when I stopped stretching I saw that she was over by the wash basin testing the water. I frowned at her and walked over, putting my hands on my hips.
"So, how do we do this?" I asked.
"You get in the tub and I will wash you."
I sighed, stopping the advances, and put a foot in the tub but yelled. It was scalding!
"You bitch! It's hotter than hell!"
The maid looked up at me and then stood up.
"I don't appreciate being talked to like a common whore, milord. If you will actually stick your whole foot into the water and not just your toe, you will see that it is actually warm, not scalding. Unless you're saying that your skin is as sensitive as a young virgin's?"
I gaped at the maid but she had put my pride on the line. I stepped my foot into the water and unfortunately, she was correct. I sunk down into the water and relished in the warmth.