Chapter 3

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Warning: Contains flashback and self destructing comments

Evelyn's POV

Walk back home was short and quick. Being around more people wasn't on the agenda. The safety and coziness of the house shrouded me again, keeping me safe from the harsh world outside. I wasn't going to go outside for a while.

Brandon had long ago left for his girlfriend's house. Quinn and I had been cuddled up on the couch listening to Looney Tunes play in the background. Max, my little brother, was chowing down on some fruit snacks and telling me about his new friend.

"She's so pretty." I heard him say, snapping me out of my trance. It was almost like I could see his smiling face. He had these amazing aquamarine eyes that lit up when he was happy. It was like staring into the ocean. Small flecks of gold were scattered about them. I had those same eyes before that night, now I didn't know exactly what they looked like. According to my mother, after everything went down, they look bloodshot, red, orange, and torn apart. I've never asked what they look like again, but the doctor said that they would eventually look better. Whatever better meant.

"She has really pretty black hair and her eyes look like the night sky!" He said. I could feel the couch moved from him jumping slightly in his seat. He wasn't quite old enough yet to know who he liked, but he seemed to be leaning more towards girls.

"Well that's good" I finally replied. Unlike me, Max had jet-black hair that he had acquired from our father. My fiery red hair came from my mother. At least I have seen myself before, though. A lot of people who are blind were born blind. They don't know what anything looks like. Colors, words, nature, people, even themselves. I don't enjoy thinking about that though.

"You ready for the trip?" My mother asked, walking up behind me. I had totally forgotten about the trip. It was a long 8-hour drive to somewhere in the middle of nowhere, to something I couldn't even see. It was more for my parents and Max rather than me. I would not let myself be left behind and alone though, so I was forced to go with them.

To look at something I couldn't see.

It would be tough for me, going to an unknown place far away. I guess that it was a good test for all of us. "As ready as I ever will be." I reply. My mother sighs. I hear and feel her sitting next to me on the couch. "One day you'll have to be able to be on your own, at least for a little bit." My mother didn't seem to really understand my worries and anxiety. She never had to go through any anxiety or depression. Even when the doctor said that I did, she still didn't take it seriously.

"I know, but I would rather be alone somewhere I know already." I sighed and shook my head. "Where we are going is somewhere I've never been before." I felt my anxiety getting worse. My foot was tapping, and I was sweating despite the fact that it was cold in the house. I mean I couldn't even be touched certain ways without having a panic attack! What if people try to touch me? What if they don't want to talk to me because I'm blind? What if they push me around? What if they just talk to my parents because they don't think I can talk for myself? What happens if I trip and fall? Will I make a fool of myself? What if people laugh at me? What if they make fun of me? What if I get lost?

Questions whirled about my mind, drowning the outside world out. I was suffocating. Tears were running down my face, and I was shaking uncontrollably. Quinn was instantly by my side. I could barely feel her fur rubbing up against me, I was shaking so much. My mother was saying something. What was she saying?

...

I wiped a tear that was running down my face. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. and the thought of the trip has been keeping me up. When I used to have late-night anxiety, I would look up at the stars, Now I can't. Another tear slid down my cheek. I was sitting on the windowsill, feeling the cool breeze brush my skin.

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