8 years ago today, you left the world.
You left me.
I saw you before it happened, before you were attacked.
Then I saw you after, tied up in dads lap.
You looked scared, you looked frightened.
Breathing heavy and whimpering.
James in the other seat sobbing, dad holding you.
I was on your other side sobbing so hard.
Mom was sobbing a little away, I never saw her cry that hard before.
Dad told us to say goodbye, but I really didn't want to.
I didn't want to let you go, but I knew I had to.
I kissed your soft furry ear, I rubbed your head.
And through a very shaky breath I said it, I said goodbye.
I told you that I loved you and that everything was going to be okay, that you would be okay soon.
I cried so hard and when mom told me they had to go, that you had to go, I nearly screamed.
I sobbed even harder and said over and over that I loved you.
James and I sat hugging and crying.
Then mom and dad came back, without you and red eyes, and I knew, I wouldn't see you again.
I cried myself to sleep that night, and everynight.
Waking up and hoping it was all a dream, but it wasn't, you were still gone.
I was different after, a 10 year old girl, one day bright and cheerful, the next, depressed.
I still miss you, 8 years to the day.
I still cry sometime, but I know you're in a better place.
Jasmine joined you a year ago and I know you're okay, both of you are.
It still hurts, but I'm making it through, because I have amazing friends, people to talk to.
I miss you buddy, we grew up together, well for 10 years.
You will always be in my heart.
Gone but not forgotten.
1999-5/6/2018
I love you monster, always.
Forever....
