I can't listen to certain songs,
Because they make me think of you.
I can't go certain places,
Because we went there.
I can't look at pictures of you,
Because I now hate you.
I can't think certain things,
Because we did them together.
I can't buy certain things,
Because you bought them for me.
I can't look at certain things,
Because they make me think of you.
I can't watch certain movies,
Because we watched them.
I can't read certain books,
Because there's a character who reminds me of you.
There are things I can't say,
Because you said them.
There are things I can't do,
Because you did them.
I used to have a crush on you,
Now I don't.
I used to like you,
Now I loathe you.
You took almost everything from me,
I'm glad you didn't.
There are only two things I have left,
Because I didn't let you have them.
I dyed my hair,
Because everytime I looked at it,
I would remember you,
Running your fingers through it.
I washed my clothes on sanitary,
Because I would only remember you touching them.
I scrubbed my body till it was red,
Because I could still feel you touching me.
I moved away,
And I'm glad.
I don't have so many reminders of you,
I don't even have to see you.
You used to be my best friend,
Now you're nothing to me,
But an asshole,
And a memory.
I'm glad I never let you have 2 things,
Now I can give them to someone else,
Someone deserving,
Someone better.
Because of you I have less faith in guys,
Because of what you did.
Because of you I'm scared,
That it's just going to happen again.
Those 2 things you never got?
The 2 things you're never gonna get?
My virginity,
And me.
You were my first kiss,
But you kissed like a dog.
You made me feel things,
I'm never gonna feel from you again.
You have less control of me now,
But still have some.
But I'm getting better,
No thanks to you.
I know that soon I will do those things,
The things I can't do because of you.
I know that soon,
I will soar.
I hope that one day you find this,
That you read this,
And know just what you did,
What you used to have.
I'm never gonna be who I used to,
But that's okay.
Because now I'm different,
I know better.
I know better then to trust so easy,
Like I did you.
I know now,
How to be better than you.
I couldn't say your name for months,
But I can now.
Because I have the strength,
Because I have the courage.
_____________________
A/N
This is dedicated to the asshole himself, he knows who he is. He doesn't have Wattpad, but I hope someone shows this to him. This is for you Nathaniel, you bastard.
This is also dedicated to my 2 best friends, who have helped me through everything I love you 2 more than anything.
