Im Not Just A Stripper

8

Today Is the saddest day of my life. Today Is the day my father died. And its been 10 years. But it feels like yesterday when i was holding his hand and he took his last breath. I got up and put on some clothes then went to his grave. And every year. I come down and play the song Missing You by 1st lady. Because It describes how I feel. After It went off I decided to talk to him.

Me: Well daddy its been 10 years. Time sure is flying. Well a lot of things has happened since last time i visit you. Kyler turned one a few weeks ago. Me and Micheal did a Micky Mouse themed party. Oh yea. And me and Micheal got back together. Last time I came to you and talked about Micheal he just up and left me. Well a few months ago. We talked and we got back together. I know your thinking this is the same Micheal you talked about last year but it is and he purposed. And mama finna started dating again. I know your proud she finally moved on. I know I am.  I wish you could walk me down the aisle when I get married. But i know you will be their. I still remember holding your hand when you took your last breath. Why couldnt you stay with us daddy. I really miss you. And I love you. I remember when we used to do karoke together. We would always beat Karrueche and Momma. They were a bunch of haters. I really wish I could hear your voice again. And hold you hand. I know you dont like it when I cry daddy. But I cant help it. Why did you get in that car. Why did they have to hit you. All those people that were on the road. I got in a car accident about a month ago. All I was thinking about in my head. Was if I was gonna make it. Mamma and Karrueche already loss you. I couldnt have them lose me to. and Kyler cant grow up with out a momma. So I fought I tried my best to stay alive and i did. I know you tried to stay alive daddy. Do you want me to play our song again. Ok. I will. Remember when you always wanted me to dance with you. Well I will.

I replayed Missing you and started to dance like he was dancing with me. And then the song was over.

Me: Well daddy I guess Its time to go. I really miss you and I love you. 

I kissed his headstone and got in the car and then I broke down. And I felt a tap on the shoulder. I looked over and It was my dad.

Daddy: I love you babygirl.

Then he faded away. That was the exact thing he said before he passed away in the hospital. I got out the car and sat down at my dads grave.

Me: Im gonna stay here with you today daddy. I know you havent had company in a few months.It will just be me and you. I know you will like that.

I know im not gonna be bothered because Karrueche comes on fathers day and my mom comes on his birthday. And i come on the day he passed. So he can have company 3 times a year.

Me: I bet you have alot of friends in heaven. I say that because your really cool. I know you probably saying you better be behaving your self. And i am. If you were still living we could have been enjoying ourself. We couldve been fishing it up. You always knew how to bring the country girl out of me. The last time i went fishing is when i was with you. Im scared to go without you. I would have a breakdown. I cant go anymore. I was always a daddy girl. 

While I was talking my phone kept ringing and it was Micheal. I wasnt anwsering because it Logan and daddy day. So I turned my phone off.

Me: So how have you been doing. Good.? I bet. I know Kyler would love to know you. I can tell he is gonna be silly like me and you already. 

~

Micheals P.O.V

Logan hasnt been anwsering my calls all day. And it 4 p.m. So I went downstairs to ask Karrueche to see if she knows. And it looked like she had just got finished crying.

Me: Are you ok.

Karrueche: Yea. Im Fine. Just that time of the year.

Me: What time of the year.

Karrueche: Today is the day me and Logan's dad died.

Now i know wh. So i hugged Karrueche.

Me: Im sorry.

Karrueche: Its been 10 years Micheal.

Me: Its ok.

Karrueche: Im finna go check on my mom.

Me: Ok.

~

Logan's P.O.V

Me: I wish you could come back daddy. So i could give you the tightest hug. And you could hold me like you use to. I know you wish the same. I was thinking the other day to go to a meadium.  But i dont need them I can talk to you like this. I bet I look at hot mess right now daddy. I got bags under my eyes. I've been crying all day. And i dont have on any makeup.

Daddy: Stop crying. And you look beautiful.

Me: I knew you were listening. People think im crazy.

Daddy: Your not.

I laughed.

Me: I am just a little bit.

then he laughed.

daddy: You should bring Kyler some time.So i could see him. Dont wait no year. 

i laughed

Me: Ok. I will either tomorrow. Or about a week.

Daddy: Stop crying babygirl. I hate to see you cry. Now imah allow it 1 more time. But next year. Your only allowed to give me 1 tear.

Me: I will try daddy but i cant make no promise. Why would god wanna hurt me like this.

Daddy: He isnt hurting you. It was gonna happen sometime. It just came sooner than expected. Im in a better place.

Me: It hurts daddy.

Daddy: I know. It hurts me to.

Me: I bet.

Daddy: Ok. Babygirl. Ive had a wonderful day with you. But you should head home. Micheal is worried about you. 

Me: what about momma.

Daddy: She is fine and so is karrueche. 

Me: I love you daddy.

Daddy: I love you to babygirl.

I hugged him. Even though i couldnt feel it. It made me feel good on the inside. Then he faded away. I got in my car. 

Me: Only one tear Alejandra.

I said that to my self as one tear fell down my face. 

Me: No more.

I played missing you one more time. And i drove away. I looked back and saw my daddy waving at me.

~

When I got home I saw everybody sitting on the couch watching tv. And then micheal came up to me and hugged me.

Me: I love you.

Micheal: I Love You To.

~

R.I.P Aunt Mary Ann , Uncle Mariuce , and Big Ma. I really miss yall.