"thanks yoongi." i gave yoongi a smile as i got out of the car. "welcome." he smiled back and waved as he drove off.
i walked up to hoseok's door and knocked twice. it took a moment but soon the door was opened.
hoseok's eyes widened slightly and he quickly looked down to avoid eye contact with me.
"hyung... can we talk please?" i asked and hoseok nodded slowly, letting me into his house.
i followed him into his living room and we sat on his couch, facing each other slightly.
"so, i heard yoongi talking to taehyung on the phone and he said that you... that— um you love me. is-is it true?" i stuttered and hoseok looked away, starting to fiddle with his fingers.
hoseok took a deep breath and let out a small laugh. "well i guess i do... i was gonna ask you out at the beginning of the school year but then i noticed how interested you seemed in jimin so i just figured you didn't think of me like that." hoseok said and i bit my lip.
"but that's really not important jungkook, what is important is what you're going through right now... does jimin even know?"
i shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. "no but im going to tell him... and i agree with you, this is important but so are you. i don't want you to think that im going to die because im gonna try my best not to. i wanna survive this just as much as you guys want me to." i said and hoseok nodded, wiping at his eyes.
"im sorry i didn't notice hoseok." i mumbled and hoseok chuckled. "no its cool. i didn't really show it as much as i wanted to." he said and i hummed.
"you didn't show it at all." i smiled and hoseok giggled. "you're right."
"why didn't you?" i asked and hoseok shrugged. "i didn't want you to think i was weird." he said and i laughed.
"but you are weird and i love you for that." i said and hoseok smiled, flicking my arm. "yeah, yeah. its whatever... you should go talk to jimin now." hoseok said and i shook my head.
"no... ive seen enough tears today." i said and hoseok bit his lip. "well don't you want to get it over with?" he asked and i shook my head again.
"no i don't. i want him to be clueless for as long as possible. if-if i knew that you loved me i wouldn't have told you either... cause love hurts and makes you do things you might regret. so... can you promise me you won't do anything once i leave?"
hoseok looked down and pursed his lips. "i... i can't promise you anything." hoseok whispered and my eyes filled with tears.
"hoseok please. you have to be here if i don't make it and you have to be here if i do end up making it. its gonna be hard but if you're not here then that'll make everything harder." i whispered, holding back my tears the best i could.
i was truly sick and tired of crying already and i wish this was all already over with.
"i promise." hoseok said and i sniffed, pulling him into a hug. "i love you hobi hyung." i whispered and hoseok chuckled sadly.
"i love you too kookie." he whispered back before pulling away.
my phone started ringing and i sighed, wiping my tears as i answered the call.
"jungkook, you have a surgery scheduled in two days." taehyung said and i bit my lip. "okay tae... thanks for letting me know." i mumbled and taehyung sighed.
"no problem. see you later kook, love you."
"love you too." i said and ended the call.
"hoseok can you drive me home? im kinda tired." i asked and hoseok nodded, standing up and helping me up.
we got in his car and he drove me to my house while we listened to the radio. no words were spoken but none needed to be. everything was okay.
"i'll see you later seokie, love you." i said as i got out of the car. "love you too kook, don't forget that." hoseok said and i smiled.
"i could never." i waved as he pulled out of my driveway.
i walked up to my front door and was about to unlock the door until i heard a loud crash. i turned around quickly and dropped to my knees.
"no!" i screamed as tears poured down my face.
there was hoseok's car, crashed into a tree just down the street.
you rushed out of your house and looked over at me and then you followed my gaze to hoseok's car.
you quickly pulled out your phone as you jogged over to me.
you said a few things but i could hear you. i couldn't hear anything at that moment. the only thing i could hear was hoseok's voice in my head.
"jungkook, listen to me. i called an ambulance and they're gonna take him to the hospital okay? he'll be okay." you said and i turned to look at you. "we-we need to go too." i said and you helped me up.
you drove us to the hospital and i started crying again as i saw the ambulance in front of the hospital.
hoseok was laying on a stretcher as the pushed him through the hospital doors.
you walked me to the hospital, trying to calm me down as we walked but again i couldn't hear you.
"c-call taehyung." i whispered as i walked up to the front desk.
"where are they taking him? his name is jung hoseok." i asked and the lady smiled at me. "calm down jungkook, they're probably taking him to surgery. the doctors have everything under control. just wait in the waiting room please." she said and i sighed.
i walked back to sit beside you and you pressed a kiss to my lips, wiping away my tears.
"the guys are on their way." you said and i nodded, staring down at the ground.
"i need to tell you something later."
-
dear diary,
this is just on a sheet of paper a nurse gave me but i'll write it in my journal when i go home.
hoseok's gonna be okay, he broke a few bones but he's fine.
he attempted suicide after i told him i had cancer jimin...
please don't do the same thing.
there's a chance i will survive and i want you to be there if i do, okay?
and i want you to know that im having my first surgery in a couple days... you'll probably know by then.
there's no way i could keep it from you and that's why im going to tell you soon.
i love you jimin, i really do.
- jungkook
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-taestan fetus kookie uwu this book is literally almost over lmao, i wanna have it done by my birthday which is the 17th there's like 4-5 chapters left
