All About Pokemon

Mewtwo is Pissed

Latias heard the loud thump of two three-fingered hands slam against the desk in front of her. "I want to see the Pokémon in charge, now!" His deep, telepathic voice jabbed at her mind like a hot poker. She'd been expecting this and had hoped he wouldn't barge in during her shift, but fate was not something that was kind towards her as of late.

She lowered her magazine, only to be greeted by the face of an extremely temperamental Mewtwo. Latias let out a sigh and delivered the standard spiel in what was probably one of the most unconvincing pleasant tones possible; "Hello sir, welcome to the home office for LRCB, Legendary Registration and Control Bureau. My name is Latias and I will be the one providing you with our patented legendarily high quality assistance today. How can I be of service?"

"Don't you put me through this nonsense, Latias!" He slammed the receptionist desk again. Latias wondered if the pounding was really necessary. "You know perfectly well why I'm here! I don't have time for your games!"

Latias glanced over at the clock mounted on the wall. Her shift would end in half an hour. Maybe if she stalled long enough she could dump Mewtwo on Regice. He was probably going to be late again though, as always. Her gaze shifted slightly left to a colorful poster with a Pikachu dangling from a tree. 'Hang in there!' it read. Sweet Arceus, she'd have to try her hardest.

"I'm sorry sir," she continued in a saccharine- yet monotone- voice. "I'm afraid I don't have any clue what you're talking about. If you have problems that need resolving, I'd suggest calling our toll free customer assistance hotline at-"

Mewtwo's eyes began to blaze. "I DID call, and they gave me the same run-around as you! That was of course after I was put on hold for three hours!"

Latias let out another sigh. This was going to be a long thirty minutes. "Then how can I help you?"

"You already know, damn it!" Objects behind him starting floating threateningly in the air, old copies of Pokémon Geographic and Pokesports Illustrated whirling around at a mildly alarming rate. He narrowed his eyes and hissed, "There's a second Mewtwo."

"Oh goodness," Latias rolled her eyes. "The end of the world is upon us. Pray tell, sir, what problem is there that we can assist with? As you know, whenever a Pokémon applies for the status of legendary they must be a member of a unique, rare species as well as meet a minimum base stat requirement. The new Mewtwo meets both of these requirements."

Latias, of course, passed the test with flying colors. She still remembered a few generations back when she was a young legendary, fresh out of the design room. She'd been so naive at the time... Little did many Pokémon and people know that there was a very formal process to becoming a legendary. Besides having a minimum base stat total of 600 as well as being a member of an exclusive Pokémon species, Pokémon had to register with the LRCB. They would then divvy up legendary privileges such as version mascot, private ominous empty room for you to wait in, high capture rates, movie appearances, anime cameos, and more. Some of the lucky ones (herself included) even received signature moves, items, and even were provided a license allowing free roaming in restricted airspace.

"It's not right!" The psychic cat stomped a foot against the ground. "I forbid that new Mewtwo from being recognized as an official legendary Pokémon! And I also forbid her from being recognized as a member of my species! It undermines the whole point of the uniqueness of my existence!"

"I'm sorry, but you don't have the power to forbid anything for anyone in this matter."

Latias could feel specks of saliva hit her face as Mewtwo roared with rage. "There can only be one Mewtwo! I deserve respect, especially from some random third generation legend like you! I AM the original legend!"