Eclipse

Chapter 14- Show Me Proof

He wasn't one to tempt fait, but considering fait was already laughing at him, he said it.

That couldn't have gone any worse.

Once again, Anakin found himself lost in thought as he trudged through the busy streets of late night Coruscant in the pouring rain, deep in a depressing daze of hopelessness. Ignoring the sloshing of his drenched cloak, he focused on putting one heavy boot in front of the other.

Coming up with a new route was next to impossible at this point. He was hated and completely alone. He could go back to Ahsoka, but she had already helped him quite a bit. She made it known she wasn't coming back. It boggled the mind how she said she would be helping him though, what good was her assistance if she wasn't doing anything? On top of that, he wasn't going to let her see him so defeated again. He wouldn't dare go back into her quaint little neighborhood, soaked from head to toe with rain and tears. Perhaps it was pride, but it was also rationality.

Though he wasn't sure how. He had plenty of time to think about it though.

With Ahsoka scratched off his allies list however, he didn't have much choice. He only had a few friends- hundreds of thousands of admirers who once saw him as some invincible hero, dozens of acquaintances, but he only had three people he ever let into his heart. Well four, but one of them was a sociopathic impostor of a good man. Now he was down another one considering his wife believed he'd gone off the deep end.

A pang hit him straight through the heart like a double ended lightsaber and it took all of his willpower to not shed a tear. His own wife didn't believe him, she had sided with the misinformed media, that he was really beginning to loathe at this point. In all logicality however, he couldn't find it in his heart to be angry with her. If he thought back on it, he probably did sound like a madman, asking- no- begging her to trust him, to believe every crazy blunder pouring from his mouth in pure desperation, while soaking wet.

She was a very analytical person, it was something he loved about her, (sometimes) that beautiful cleverness that never ceased to amaze him. But tonight, the thing he treasured about her had turned on him, and in the worst way imaginable. That cursed intelligence of hers made her believe he was demented, and now he was alone, she was alone; he was in mortal danger, but more importantly, she was in danger. Anakin swore he would never forgive himself if he allowed her to get hurt, or worse... he refused to think further on that.

He knew he shouldn't have went to her, he battled with himself before he stepped through the door. Knowing his heart was stronger than his head, he had warned himself to take a few steps back to at least gather up some composure, but the time for faking aplomb was over, and his impulsiveness was dominant by the time he finally laid eyes on her.

He was mildly aware he should be formulating a plan on what to do next, but the weight of the galaxy and his rain ragged cloak was once again pressing down on his back. What else did he have to do other than throw a quick pity party for himself?

Pathetically, the answer was nothing.

Brooding about everything else that went wrong today, like the small fact that the world was crumbling around him and responsibility coupled with immeasurable guilt was crashing down on his back like a sack of bricks, he allowed himself a few more minutes of wallowing.

Furthermore, he was always applauded for his optimism in impossible situations from the public. As a General, he was forced to keep his chin up and a beaming smile- an arrogant smirk- plastered over his face, he couldn't afford doubt even though it consumed him, because if he let his facade slip for just one minute, everyone that depended on him would realize something.