Learning How To Live [E.N.D. | NaLu]

01

LUCY

The guild was different now. Anyone could see it. The light filling the guild had disappeared, taken with the dragon slayer when he left. No one knew what happened to him. He simply hadn't come back. Just when he came back from that horrible year of void-like nothing, he left for another. It had been hard enough to recognize him last year when he came back, so even if we found him, I doubted I would recognize him now.

It hurt though. To not know where your best friend was, or why he had suddenly gone, was one of the worst feelings. I was well aware that he could be perfectly fine, but I couldn't bury that horrible feeling that he wasn't. And if he wasn't, I didn't know what I would do.

I'd already lost Aquarius, and just after that Natsu had left. It killed me, but at least then I knew why he left and that it was of his own accord. This time I didn't know anything. And that feeling was horrible. I was constantly nervous, I couldn't sleep, and I knew everyone who knew him felt the same.

Even after a year, I couldn't process the thought that he was gone.

Search parties had failed. Master Makarov had been found and he still sent them once a week. Last week was Team Natsu's shift. Those weeks of searching  were the worst weeks of my life, because though we were doing something, I was losing hope.

I buried myself in work. I dove into my novel, and since the day he left, I couldn't help but notice that everything I wrote seemed sad, violent, or just dark. I went on jobs with the team endlessly in efforts to distract myself, and I knew they did it for the same reason.

The only team member who just couldn't handle doing anything was Happy. He had been so devastated he'd locked himself in their house for two weeks. It was hard to convince him to leave.

As of right now, though, we were on a job. We'd all become pretty strong during that year off. And now that we were taking near impossible jobs left, right, and center to distract ourselves, our strength was only growing exponentially.

I walked at the head of the group, following the directions of the job request. I looked up from the paper, and I saw something I hadn't seen in a year.

A pink head of hair was walking in front of me, his familiar scarf resting around his shoulders.

My eyes widened and I ran towards him without hesitation. I grabbed the back of his scarf and shouted his name. "Natsu!" I didn't wait for him to turn around before I hugged him fiercely. He turned around and I was ready for him to say my name and tell me he was sorry for leaving.

The words that came out of his mouth were not what I expected. "Who are you?" he asked. My fantasy shattered, and I realized the man I was hugging was not who I thought he was.

I fought tears as I stepped back. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I thought you were someone else." I looked to the ground and felt a single tear drop into the middle of the cobblestone road.

I looked back to the group and noticed the looks on their faces were filled with sympathy. The man responded. "It's fine," he said. "Who did you think I was?" he asked. "I could help you find him."

"I doubt that," I said before I walked away in a bitter silence.

The group ran up to me, catching up quickly. "I think it would be best to take a break, don't you, Lucy?" Erza asked me, wrapping her warm arm around my shoulder comfortingly. I nodded leaning into her arm. Her touch reminded me of him too much.

I pulled away, heading for the nearest inn.

ø✧ø

My dreams were filled with memories. But they weren't the memories I remembered. These memories were filled with death. Specifically his death. I couldn't escape them. They followed me everywhere, forcing me to watch my best friend as he died. Over and over again. I couldn't even count all of the ways it showed me his death. All I knew was that it was too many.