Learning How To Live [E.N.D. | NaLu]

09

LUCY

At those last words, I was jerked violently from the memory, my mind becoming muddled as it was shoved back into my own body. My head was sore, and Natsu was shaking across from me. I began to confuse memory from reality. I couldn't be sure that the Natsu across from me was really here. I gripped my head, grunting in pained confusion. I began to panic when I looked up to see Natsu gone. I shook my head, wondering if all that had happened the past few days was merely in my imagination. Am I going crazy?

I jumped and yelped when I felt a warm hand land on my shoulder, and a quiet voice entered my head. Lucy, are you okay?

I shook my head, shaking the thoughts and disorientation from my mind. "Yeah... yeah, I'm okay," I said, still a bit confused.

The first times are kind of disorienting, he said, as if he knew exactly what I was experiencing.

"The first... times?" I asked, confused.

You just saw one of my memories, he said, grimacing slightly. Sorry, I couldn't block you out in time. I was too confused to think.

I frowned. "No, no," I said. "It's fine, that actually helped me understand just what was going on."

He grimaced again. Could you... he trailed off for a moment, not mention this to anyone else? he asked sheepishly, rubbing one of his arms.

I nodded furiously. "Yes, of course. Do you get those often?" I asked, concern for his wellbeing filling me. He just nodded in response, not bothering to speak to me. I frowned in sadness. "I'm sorry. That looked horrible." I noticed him cringe at my apology, and quickly realized he didn't particularly want to dwell on the subject. I grabbed one of his hands, trying to keep him from shutting down. When he flinched slightly, I spoke softly, "Look, I know you don't really want to talk about it right now, but I need you to know something." He cocked his head at me in question, and I took a breath before proceeding. "Mrs. Lily," I began, and his eyes widened at her name, "I knew her before I came here."

I could see in his eyes that he wanted to know how, so I explained quickly. I mentioned my idea of getting her out, and that was when he did begin to shut down. I could sense chaos filling his mind, thoughts of hatred, fear and disgust running rampant through his head. I quickly pulled his head closer to me, keeping it pressed against my chest in hopes it would reassure him that he was still safe. I focused on slowing my erratic heartbeat. I felt his breathing slow as his heartbeat began to match up with mine. The emotions that had begun to calm, suddenly changed to pure, undiluted sadness that hit me full force.

I stumbled back at the pure emotions slamming into my head, and landed on the floor. I sat quietly, trying to resist the urge to cry as Natsu suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist fiercely. Some instinct must have taken over, because the Natsu I'd been living with recently would never have done this. And just as quickly, my motherly instincts took over. I held him quietly, whispering soothing words into his ear to calm him.

It took a while, but slowly, the sadness dissipated until he was able to stand again. He closed his emotions off from me, but kept his thoughts open for me to see. The sense of telepathy wasn't truly hearing. Well, it was in part, but the majority of the sensation consisted of seeing. Thoughts were presented in visions. The visions seemed almost impossible to comprehend, but it had begun to get easier. My only guess would be that two things influenced the effectiveness of telepathy. How long you'd been using it, and how well you knew the person you were connected to. My connection with Natsu was strong. Even after he'd changed so much, I could feel the bond between us was near unbreakable. My hope was that everything would become clearer the more familiar I was with the ability.