Learning How To Live [E.N.D. | NaLu]

20

NATSU

The first thing I saw was Lucy sobbing above me. For some reason, my vision was strangely dull, and my body felt remarkably sluggish as I sat up. It felt like I was hearing everything through water, and my sense of smell had nearly disappeared. In short, it felt like I was a living corpse.

I tried to ask Lucy what was going on, but my voice didn't seem to want to come out. Eventually, I managed to croak out a near silent "What happened?"

Lucy was on top of me, crying and hugging me fiercely. I was so confused. What was the last thing that had happened? I couldn't remember. All I could seem to remember was pain. Pain with memories mixed in. My body felt tired. It felt useless. It felt wrong.

I stared down at Lucy as she rested her head against my chest, unable to make my voice make any sort of noise. It felt like my vocal chords were slowly decaying, and I couldn't do a thing to fix it. I tilted my head in question when Lucy's eyes opened in shock. I watched as she kept repositioning herself, as if she was looking for something and couldn't seem to find it.

She pulled back, staring at me. "You're dead," Lucy muttered, seemingly half to herself. "Your heart isn't beating, Natsu." I frowned at her words. Of course I wasn't dead. I was sitting here, fully conscious, wasn't I? "So how are you sitting up right now?"

I raised an eyebrow, reaching for the mental link between us so that I didn't have to overwork my vocal chords. I stiffened when I found nothing. I held up a hand, ignoring the odd sickly gray color of my skin as I tried to light a flame in my palm. Nothing.

Fear consumed me. What is going on?
Before I could force the question out of my throat, the door came crashing down, and people swarmed in. I backed up against the headboard, curling in on myself in fear. I couldn't fight right now. Hell, I couldn't even light a small fire right now. I looked for any opportunity to run, panic beginning to set in. They had surrounded us immediately, leaving no room to run.

I watched as they pulled out guns, unable to make my voice cooperate enough to shout a warning. The next thing I knew, Lucy and Levy were on the ground, bullets that I was sure were full of poison through both of their stomachs. I tried to make myself push the fear down so I could help them, but my damaged mind refused to let that happen.

I was so occupied by the two girls on the ground that I completely forgot about the danger posing itself towards myself.
Even with my strangely dull sense of smell, I could pick up on an oddly sweet scent before my senses were taken from me altogether.

ø✧ø

I watched as the flames leapt to life around me. I gazed down at my mother's lifeless body; I could smell nothing but burning flesh and smoke. I didn't move. I couldn't move. My gaze shifted up, watching as my father guarded my small body from a falling beam. Even as the beam crushed him, a sharp piece stabbing his shoulder, I didn't move.

I looked back up from his dead body as it collapsed to the ground, staring at the orange sea of flames consuming the small structure I'd called home. I couldn't help but remember the last time I'd seen someone die in front of me. I hadn't even known the old man, but still, he pushed me out of the way of the rampaging herd of livestock that had been on the verge of crushing me. I hadn't even known him, but still his death remained in my head. Even now as I watched the flames surround me, beginning to eat away at my flesh, his blood remained seared into my memory. But now I saw my mother's blood too, and my father's soon joined.

I felt the flames chisel away at my small body, burning away the skin as if it was nothing. I didn't bother running from it.

After all, I deserved it.