The Oath, Book 2 of The Coven Series

Chapter Twenty Three

~ Suicide ~

White. Everywhere I looked, all I saw was white. Snow, I realized. Snow fell all around me, blanketing the ground, hiding the imperfections of the Earth. Beautiful, really. I'd forgotten how enchanting the snow was. Xavier had shown me yesterday how fun it could be. Now, I recognized the beauty and simplicity of the white flakes falling all around me. Did I really hate all of this just hours ago? Seemed impossible.

I stopped at the edge of the lake, the water lapping gently at my toes. I wiggled them and realized I had no shoes on. When did I take them off, and why weren't my feet cold? Didn't matter. All that mattered was the beauty around me. I'd never felt closer to the Earth than I did in this moment. The power of Earth flowed through me, and I was a part of it. The frozen ground beneath my feet felt better than the softest carpet. The trees whispered to me. The snow cooled off my hot skin. I was Earth in this moment.

Wind whipped all around me, whistling in the trees. I called Air to me, but it resisted. My eyes narrowed. How dare it? I was master here, and it would obey. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on pulling the struggling Element to me. When it snapped into place around me, I shuddered. It was now mine to control.

The water beckoned. I took several steps until I was knee deep in the lake. Cold. I only knew I was cold because my teeth started to chatter. I rubbed my arms and realized they were bare. I looked down and saw I was wearing a sleeveless black dress. I hadn't worn that this morning. I'd had on jeans and a sweatshirt. When did I change my clothes?Did it really matter, though? No. All that mattered was the feel of the magic coursing through me. It felt glorious. I'd never had this much magic running through my veins before. It was dangerous. I knew that, but didn't care. I could do anything right now. I could cause an earthquake. I could force rain from the clouds above me. Anything I wanted, I could do right now. It was the most awesome feeling. I wanted it, craved it, needed it. This was who I was.

I sank further into the water. It lapped at my chin. If I plunged under the surface of the lake, then I'd be one with the Water Element as well as the Earth and Wind Elements. I could call up a hurricane if I wanted. The possibilities were endless.An image of Jenny lying cold and dead on a morgue gurney invaded my vision, and my fury roared back. I remembered why I'd come to Falls Church. I'd come to make that little hoard of wannabe witches pay for killing her. So why was I letting myself sink into the water? Why wasn't I out there making them suffer for what they did to my sister? I only had a little time left since Dad was coming today. I should be dealing with that instead of swimming in the lake.

Instead of getting out, I drifted further out into the lake. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to get out of the water. I wanted to, but the water called to me. I had the urge to sink under its surface and just revel in the feel of the energy from the Water Element. I let myself sink further down, the icy depths covering my face completely. I sank to the bottom, not even trying to swim up for air. It felt wonderful. I'd never felt so free, so weightless. Nothing mattered but the power raging through me.

An image of Dad and Gran came to mind. They were standing alone at a cemetery, heartbroken. I frowned. Why were they crying? My eyes wandered to the headstone they were staring at. My frown deepened. My own name stared back at me. Why were they staring at a headstone with my name on it? It made no sense. I took a deep breath and choked a bit. I was drowning. Water filled my lungs, and I couldn't find the urge to swim to the surface to save myself. This was why they were staring at my tombstone. I drowned. Why didn't I want to fight? Why couldn't I find the will to save myself?

Arms wrapped around me, and within seconds, we'd burst upward and into the sky. Xavier. He'd found me and pulled me out. My lungs hurt as I coughed, water spewing out of my mouth. When we landed on the embankment, Xavier bent me over and rubbed my back while I coughed up the water. I shifted, turning back toward the water once I could stand. He caught me, refusing to let me go. I heard him whispering things in my ear, but I paid them no heed. I needed to go back to the lake, to feel the power of the Water. I needed it.