The Big Book Of BatCat One Shots

Cold Feet and a Bachelor Party (Rebirth)

xaeydnquartz​ on tumblr said: Selina getting cold feet and trying to pull her classic "im a thief" line but Bruce seeing roght through her act takes time to talk to her about it and with a happy end result (you know, the usual norm engagement stuff) ^__^ Or maybe Bruces Bachelor party planned by The Boyscout and Dick also arguments about who Bruces best man is gonna be maybe (thought about this when i heard Jason was on security duty for Selina's party xD

As the wedding drew closer Bruce had noticed that Selina seemed to be getting more and more anxious. He had tried to bring it up on numerous occasions, but each and every time she brushed him off.

Selina's excuses for doing so were always the same.

"Don't you have better things to do? Like, oh I don't know, getting Eddie back into Arkham?"

"The signal's on Bruce, don't want to keep Jim waiting, do you?"

"If you keep talking we are going to be late again."

Those were just some of the excuses. None of them were going to work tonight though. Gotham had been quiet, no sign of trouble. In case there was, he had Duke, Cassandra and Harper watching over the city.

Bruce entered his and Selina's bedroom where he found her zipping up her suit.

"Selina, we need to talk." he said.

"Can't it wait?" she asked.

"No, no it can't."

Selina sighed. "Fine, what do you want?"

"I've noticed how you've been getting more and more anxious the closer our wedding day is. Are you okay?" he asked.

Selina laughed and her green eyes gleamed with understanding at what he was getting at. "Bruce Wayne I am a thief. Thieves do not get cold feet."

"You know I would be more likely to believe that if you hadn't continuously avoided talking about this in the first place." Selina sighed again and looked away from Bruce. He took a couple of steps towards her. "Selina?"

For the first time in a long time it appeared that Selina was lost for words.

"Selina. Talk to me."

There were a few more minutes of silence before she spoke. "What if something happens? What if it doesn't go to plan? And I'm not just talking about on the day, but afterwards. Look out our past, we don't exactly have the greatest track record."

"That's what you're worried about?" Bruce pulled her close to him. Her green eyes met his blue. "Selina, darling, nothing is going to go wrong. I won't let it. As for our past? The way I see it that doesn't affect what we have now. We're in this for the long run. No matter what happens."

"How can you be so certain about that?"

"I'm Batman."

Selina groaned and rolled her eyes while Bruce chuckled. She pushed away from him only for Bruce to pull her back and kiss her.

"You are absolutely insufferable." she said once they parted.

"And yet you love me anyway." Bruce replied.

"Apparently so. Now, don't you have somewhere else to be? Like your bachelor party?"

Bruce was the one to groan this time. "Please don't remind me."

"Not looking forward to it?"

"When have I ever looked forward to any type of party?"

"Fair enough, but you still need to go. Clark and Dick will probably kill you if you let their efforts go to waste and I would prefer that to not happen."

"As would I. Before I go, where exactly are you planning on going?"

"Nowhere that concerns you, now go!"

He had only gotten there an hour ago and Bruce was already done with his bachelor party. Pretty much the second he had arrived, Dick and Clark had started to argue who was going to be his best man.

Bruce had of course tried to stop it, but neither of them were listening. There honestly wasn't enough alcohol in the world to help him cope with these two.

"Please get them to stop." Barry pleaded.

"I've already tried, they're not listening." Bruce replied.

"You clearly didn't try hard enough." Hal commented.

Bruce sighed. "What are you doing here Hal?"

"C'mon, really? The Big Bad Bat is no longer a solo act. Granted you haven't been a solo act for years now, but still! That's big!" Bruce raised an eyebrow at Hal, not believing a word that was coming out of his mouth. "Alright, fine. Barry dragged me here. Now, please, just get those two to stop."

He was about to try and stop them again when the light from the bat signal shone through into the penthouse. Everyone noticed it. It even got Dick and Clark to stop arguing. Bruce's phone lit up shortly after with a text from Duke telling him not to worry and that they had it handled.

"Oh no you don't!" Dick and Clark said in unison.

"I won't if you two stop this ridiculous argument."

"Tell us who's going to be your best man then!" Dick exclaimed.

"Both of you! Now stop cause you're driving us all insane."

With their argument now over the rest of the night, much to Bruce's gratefulness, flew by and it wasn't long before he was back in the Manor and headed for bed. He was drunk and doing his best to stay silent as he entered his and Selina's bedroom.

Selina was already fast asleep. As Bruce stripped down to his boxers, he noticed a bunch of jewelry on the dresser that hadn't been there earlier that night.

"Nowhere that concerns me hey? I'm definitely going to have to deal with that in the morning." he whispered to himself before getting into bed and falling asleep himself.