On My Mind {Suspian}

Don't let go

"Reepicheep?" Caspian gasped. He blinked out of disbelief, and moved his drenched brown hair from his face.

"Caspian, my old friend. I have returned from Aslans country to warn you. Aslan himself tried but was frozen within your palace, which by the way looks beautiful. I would have come sooner but this man was following you, he kept murmuring prophecies that came true."

Noisily, the man cried in the back ground. However, Caspian was too fixed on his confusion to care.

"Prophecies? What in Narnia is going on here?"

"He predicted you and Susan would dance away the night, and so would Lilliandil and Peter." He awkwardly coughed before leaning on his sharp bladed sword against the frail man. "He also predicted that Susan would realise before everyone else, and that she would travel deep into the forest."

Caspain demanded to know more from the man, but he was unable to answer. Deep down Caspian had felt a weight in his stomach since this morning, he had thought it was the guilt of loving someone who wasn't his to love but the feeling of realisation slowly creeped through his body. Was Lilliandil pregnant? And more importantly, was Susan in danger?

—

Buds began to flower on dormant trees, adding a splash of colour to the mistreated forest. Chirping sparrows invaded the land looking for juicy grubs and shiny seeds. It was wide and open, sloping gently down to a cosmic-blue river. Past the river there was once a plush-green meadow which stretched away into vastness and a dragon-backed mountain. The scenery was so picturesque for such a damaged mind. Susan couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Susan, is that you?" a soft motherly voice wrapped around her ears. Instantly, she turned around to a couple hand in hand. "I thought we'd never see any of you again." Her short brown hair and long purple petticoat swayed as she moved closer.

"Mother? Father? How can this be?" Susan paused before taking a deep look at her surroundings again. Over the horizon she could see a wall of waves closing in and a lion symbol on each of the trees.

"We're not sure either, one minute I was at home and the next I woke up here, and your father was just returning from the front lines when he felt a pain in his back and (like me) woke up here." Her voice seemed distant, even though she was stood before Susan's eyes. "Can I embrace my daughter one last time? I need some form of closure before you go."

A tear detached it's self from her bloodshot eyes. With hesitation, Susan walks towards them and clutches her arms around their waist. They fall to the ground and comfort their sobbing daughter. "Does this mean I died? I never got to say good bye to them, I never told Caspian how I felt." She paused before admitting: "I'm scared."

"It was all make sense soon darlin', Just take a deep breath and wait for him." Her father wipes away her tears before continuing." He's on his way. Just hold on. Don't let go."

Suddenly, she was alone.

She mourned for her parents even though she knew she would see them again. Questions roamed around her mind; in all of her life she had never felt so vulnerable.

"Dearest daughter, I had worried you would visit this place before your time. You have doubted your value; Don't run from who you are." Said a deep voice from behind her. She turned and saw the Lion himself. So bright, real and strong.

"Aslan!" She gasped as she rose up. "Am I dead?" her voice was timid and she looked exhausted from crying.

"Don't be afraid Susan. You are in the motion of passing - the place between life and death. From this moment you can chose how you continue your journey." He paused before breathing a gush of solitude through the air, this caused her tears to fade and her eyes to freshen. "You could come with me and your parents to My Country and wait for the others to follow; there will be no more pain and suffering for you or you can chose to go back, and deal with the trauma that lies beneath the clouds."

Susan stared intently at the emptiness that surrounded her. Was she really considering leaving Peter, Edmund, Lucy and Caspian? She sighed before shutting her eyes; in her mind, she was reliving all the memories she had created with her siblings. Not long after this, she started familiarising herself with the thought of living peacefully with her parents. It wasn't until she felt a butterfly in her stomach that she had realized all her memories link back to Caspian. If her parents hadn't have sent her away, Lucy would have never found the wardrobe. Susan wouldn't have been given the horn and Caspian would have never called for her.

Susan was willing to endure any pain to be with Caspain. That is how she knew she loved him - He was always on her mind.