Letter 13
Dear Kurt,
I honestly don't remember a lot about you. All I know is that you are my real father, and you left because you and mom constantly fought over dance.
I know I was very young when you left, but I remember when you and mom fought. It involved screaming, cussing, and tears. It honestly scared me.
Dance made me happy. I knew it made Kenzie happy too. I didn't understand why you would try to take away something we loved. I knew we had enough money. We had recently paid Abby because the studio was going bankrupt.
One week, I remember it got really quiet. You and mom would always look at each other when Kenzie and I came around, like you were talking telepathically. You didn't fight or yell. You even asked about dance class and took Kenzie and I to ice cream before dance one day.
Then one day we woke up and you and mom told Kenzie and I we weren't going to school that day or dance that afternoon. Mom had apparently talked to the principal and Abby, so it was okay.
That day was one of the best days of my life- well, at the beginning. First we got to sleep in and then we went to Waffle House for brunch. After we went to the park with our waffles for a picnic. We hiked to some place with picnic tables and a playground and ate our lunch on the grass. After you, mom, Kenzie, and I played on the playground before we went home.
Then you told us the news- you and mom were getting divorced. At first, I was in shock. I knew what it was. I had heard of other kids' parents getting divorced, but I never thought of my parents getting divorced. You still complimented mom every day and you seemed in love, I guess.
Kenzie didn't understand. But once mom explained it to her, she ran off to her room and cried.
A few weeks later, you moved out. You and mom were separated until the divorce.
At first it was really different without you. Without a dad to protect me, I felt odd.
We lived 3 years alone. 3 years of just Mom, Kenzie, and I. Everyday mom would drive us to our tutor's house, drive to work, and then mom would take us to dance. Then after dance we would get take-out or eat food at home. We did that basically everyday.
One day Mom told us that she had met a man named Greg. Mom had met him at her work, and they went on dates once in a while. Eventually they got married, and then Greg was added to the mix.
I'll admit, Greg is a much better father than you. He would never pull us from dance, because he knows we love it. He cheers me on, even when I'm at my low point.
Unlike you, he didn't leave me. The only contact I get from you is a birthday card once a year. I don't mind, though. I know you care about your sons and step-daughter more than Kenzie and I. Why would I want more from somebody who doesn't care?
I wish I didn't remember you. Sometimes I wonder what you're doing. If you're ever thinking about me, or you ever wished you never left, or if you ever thought about sending us money. On Tuesday nights I wondered if you were sitting in your living room, watching me dance on stage.
I wondered if you were sitting with your step-daughter, telling her a lame dad joke or giving her a hug as she cries. Before Greg came along I would cry, knowing you would never come back to do that. Mom thought it would be best if we never saw you. I don't know if I agree or disagree. Now I know you don't care. But back then, when I got sent to the guidance counselor twice a week, I needed somebody to cry to. I wanted somebody to say, "I'll hurt anybody who hurts my little girl." I just needed a father figure, and you weren't there for me.
A few weeks ago I found a paper. It said how you didn't want any contact with me or Kenzie. I was looking for old pictures for a school project and that was in a box, crumpled in the bottom.
I hate you. I know you don't want anything to do with me. I mean I'm only your daughter, right? I'm half of you. I'm your flesh and blood. You're just my father, and you don't want anything to do with me. But that's alright.
I just want you to know some things. I had my first kiss. It was with a boy named Clark Jackson. He's really rich, and it was during truth or dare at a party in 7th grade. I didn't like him. He was really ugly and rude, but everybody loved him because he was rich.
I have a new best friend named Kendall K Vertes. Even though sometimes I hate her, I love her. She's there for me through thick and thin, and I love her with all of my heart and soul.
My favorite show is Gossip Girl.
My hair has blonde ombré.
I love the color green.
I have a sick obsession with horror movies and sweaters.
I wish my last name was Gisoni.
I love cherry coke.
I hate salmon.
I've been to LA over 15 times.
I love airplanes.
And I hate you.
Love,
Madison Nicole.
