3 | We Who Survive the Apocalypse | ✅

Chapter 25 - Silence

It's times like these that I wish I were braindead like all the walking corpses outside, just so I couldn't feel emotion. Pain. 

Here we were, sitting around, expecting to welcome a new life into the world, when all that happened was we lost one, and might lose another.

When we found out the baby was stillborn, it felt like being slammed into a brick wall. Izzy disappeared. Hudson stepped out onto the porch, and I could hear him crying. Seth went off to try to find Izzy, anything to distract himself.

Eve the midwife was still in the bedroom with Mara and Rogan, and I didn't know how they were, aside from when Eve briefly told us that Mara was in a bad way before returning to her.

I curled up into myself and Doyle just wrapped his arms around me and didn't say a word. And we stayed like that for who knows how long.

But I didn't cry, and even hours later, I still haven't shed a single tear. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. But I'm not crying.

But just because I'm not crying doesn't mean I don't feel absolutely devastated. And I can't even begin to imagine how Mara must feel. And Rogan. They lost something precious. And now, Rogan might lose something else. It's all so, so terrible.

The bedroom door opens and Eve enters the living room, closing the door softly behind her. Doyle lets go of me, standing up and heading over to speak to her. It feels strangely foreign without his arms around me.

"How is she?" He asks quietly, though loud enough for me to hear.

Eve's face is solemn as she replies. "She's resting now. She's strong, but she's got a long way to go before she's okay. If she ever reaches that point."

Doyle only nods, glancing over at me with a grim expression. Panic wells up inside of me at the thought of losing her. Mara, the gentlest person in the world, my friend.

I bury my face in my hands, curling up into a ball again, but still no tears come. A second later, I feel his hands on my shoulders, around my waist, and he's holding onto me more tightly than before.

"I..." my voice is shaky despite the lack of tears. "I don't want her to die."

His hand gently rubs up and down my arm. "I know," is all he says. Because there's really not anything else to say. Telling me it will all be okay would be a lie.

I bury my face in his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck and focusing on the feeling of his embrace rather than my racing thoughts.

I can't go nutty again. Not now. Not now. Not now.

I hear Eve doing something in the kitchen, and that's all the noise there is. It's so quiet. Too quiet. There was supposed to be a baby crying right about now. There was supposed to be an argument over what to name the baby. But instead, there's silence, and the only decision to be made is where to bury him.

It was a baby boy. They would have had a little boy. All of this tears me apart inside, but still, my eyes are dry. I must be crazy now. No sane person would not weep over this.

"She doesn't - they don't - deserve all of this," I whisper into his chest, and I feel Doyle rest his chin on my head. "No one does."

He rubs my back, murmuring another, "I know." 

The front door opens then, and I hear Seth and Izzy having a hushed argument. What they could be arguing about is beyond me. I turn to look at them as they walk further into the room.

"I am not, so shut the fuck up about it!" Izzy whisper-yells at Seth.

"Come on! Don't you think you've held onto it long enough?" Seth retorts, and Izzy's hands curl into to fists.

"Whatever it is y'all are going on about, leave it alone," Doyle tells them, his voice rumbling through his chest, "now is not the time."

"All I was saying was that she should apologize to Rogan for—"

"I'm not fucking apologizing for anything, so leave me alone about it!" She hisses, looking like she's seconds away from punching him square in the jaw.

Seth opens his mouth to argue, but Doyle shushes him.

"Leave it alone, Seth. Now's not the time."

+++++

OH. MY. GOD.     I FINALLY UPDATED!!!!!!!!!

How long has it been, three months? Four months?? God, I am awful! I am so sorry guys and gals! I know I suck.

And I know this chapter is sad and short but I'm just glad to have finally broken through THE WORST writer's block I have ever experienced.

It's good to be back. And hopefully I won't get writer's block again right after this.

I just have to say, I appreciate you all so much! I don't deserve you! You're so patient, and kind, and uplifting, I just can't thank you enough for your support, despite me always making you wait soooooo long between updates.

You're the best, every last one of you! ❤️❤️