Cigarette Burns // FP Jones

Chapter Four

I barely gained any energy from the restless night I'd endured. It was cold in the trailer, due to lack of insulation, and I'd felt heartbroken from the turn of events that had unfolded earlier. Why had I been so stupid? My mind raced, and then to the antidepressants in Jug's room. They could have been his, but I was sure they hadn't been. Would I ask him? Or just take them and see if he notices? It was a strange situation, of which I decided to selfishly steal.
His shirt was comfortable and I had decided I'd wear it to school the following day, along with the jeans I'd worn yesterday. A comfortable combo, and I was itching from attention from the Serpents, mostly from Jughead. I wanted him to speak to his father about me, if I took one of his shirts under his father's supervision I'm sure he'd raise a brow. 
Or I was being neurotic in my train of thought. 

Jasmine did this. Obsessive over anything she could get her pale little hands on. Being in control, letting her frail and damaged mind beat herself up over nothing. He was too old. But at the same time, he was all Jasmine had. 

I took myself out of the trance, putting my jacket on and heading down to the school without talking to FP. Luckily I'd drank everything in his refrigerator last night, so I knew he wouldn't be able to drown away his sorrows until he got paid. My trainers hit the tarmac and stress radiated through me, leaning me toward having a cigarette on the way in. A few teachers had told me to put it out, but I'd ignored them as we weren't actually in a lessons yet. It had been the only thing to calm my nerves, to help me feel sane. 

- 

Lunch wasn't the best, Toni had ignored me to go off with Cheryl, so I'd sat with Sweet Pea and Fangs for the majority of it. They questioned me on why I looked so down, but I ignored them and acted as if I were fine. It wasn't until I walked off that I saw Jug with Betty and her friends. 
"Hey, Jasmine, is that Jug's shirt?" Betty asked as I walked past them. 
"Yeah." I replied bluntly, not in the mood to talk to her. Jughead didn't look pissed, he just had the usual monotone look to him, blue eyes eating away at my skin. Sighing, I proceeded in my path to the girls toilets, where I'd sit alone until it was time for lessons.
"Wait, Jasmine." Archie shouted, calling me to turn around. He ushered me closer to them, pulling a scowl. "The guy you hurt, he's looking to get you back." His voice was low, and the rest of the group kept their eyes on me. Now I realised why Jughead hadn't been angry with me; he felt sympathetic for the events that would unfold in the future. 
"I'm not scared of him." I replied - I'd been lying, I was. But I didn't want to admit that to him, or myself.  

By the end of the school day, I was tired. I walked out the gates, on my way home straight away. I pulled out a cigarette and smoked the majority of the way, taking a few stops to really enjoy my somewhat of a hobby. The streets were oddly quiet for this time of day, though I had walked faster so was probably just ahead of everyone. There was a cool breeze chilling my cheek, which had been hot from the summer's sun. The silence was calming, and the smoke in between my lips soothing my soul. That was before I was grabbed from behind, pulled to the ground. My back smashed against the concrete harshly, and I was sure I heard a crack. My neck ached and I realised I must have gotten a form of whiplash from the impact, my head spinning and I groaning in pain. 
"Think you got off easy, huh?" The jock from before showed his face over me. It was bruised and swollen, making me smile. I'd fucked up his pretty little face. 

He began to attack me. A heat grew in my face as it became bloody, and my vision blurred. His punches were sloppy, some of them barely even hard at all. I laughed at his stupidity, which seemed to only aggravate him more. 
"What the fuck are you laughing at?" He shouted, physically spitting on my face. I spat back into his, smiling. 
"Girl beater." I whispered, only he would have been able to hear the barely audible sound, as my throat was slowly blistering. He wrapped his hands around my throat tightening. I couldn't breathe, but still fought to get him off of me. 
"Dude, what the fuck?" Another one of his friends shouted, and I could hear them all running away, blatantly scared their lovely acquaintance would murder me right then and there. He didn't stop until I could see black spots, feeling weak and numb. Only then did my eyes roll back, and I became unconscious.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital. There were white lights around me, and a steady beep of the machine beside me. 
"Jasmine." I heard my brother's voice from beside me. 
"James?" I was slightly confused as to how I got here. I looked to the end of the bed, where I saw a bunch of lilies and a card. 
"That Serpent brought you in." 
"FP?" I asked quickly, hoping it had been him. 
"No, Jughead. Archie was giving him a lift in his dad's truck and they saw some jock on top of you. If they hadn't have found you-" He sniffled and held back tears. I'd never seen James upset, let alone crying. His green eyes were bloodshot, the usual near brown hair was now a birds nest. The veins in his arms were more prominent as the usual tan was pale with worry, and his muscles were tense. 
"I'm okay now, James. It's okay." I tried to reassure him, though I couldn't remember much of what happened. "Where's mom and dad?" I asked, almost worried for his answer. If they'd found out I had started this whole thing, I'd have to go to boarding school. 
"They're with the lawyer, pressing charges on that prick. You know," He laughed. "He said you started it. Pointed at these bruises on his face. Of course it's not possible a girl your size would be able to do that, especially not out of the blue." 
Although slightly reassured, I was somewhat offended my own brother hadn't believed in me enough. But, it kept the charges against him, and away from me. 
"Who are the lilies from?" I asked, gesturing toward them. 
"I don't know, I didn't read the card. I just opened it and put it up." I liked that he hadn't invaded any privacy. He stood up and grabbed it for me, letting me read it. 

'Jasmine. 

Sorry it didn't work out, I am sorry to hear about what happened. Jug said he'll come see you soon, but I don't think I should.

Get well soon and you might get a jacket on your back

-F.P.' 

I smiled, though I hadn't felt happy. I'd wanted to see him. A small tear ran down my cheek and I let my brother read the card. 
"Who is this?" He questioned, almost angrily. 

"I like him." I replied, brushing it off. 
"If he's upsetting you I can knock some sense into him-" 
"No way, James. Just leave it okay, I don't think you'll approve anyway." 
He sat back in the chair, slumped. After the thing with the teacher, I don't think he'd approve of an older man, though I knew he wouldn't actually do anything. James himself had been offered a place at Harvard, which he started in a few months. It wasn't time for him to be getting into Southside beef. 

"Jas." Jug walked through the door, glancing to my brother and then to me. "How are you feeling?" His face crumpled itself into a smile, even though it was obvious he hadn't meant it. 
"I feel like shit." I replied bluntly. Jug rolled his eyes and looked down to the card from FP, reading it. 
"You should join the snakes, Jasmine." I watched as the words forced themselves from his lips. "Your anger, your passions, they get mixed up." He began, sitting on the bed. "But I can tell you care about us, something that a lot of people don't consider. And you'd be a valuable member, you're trustworthy and loyal." Jughead finished, staring me into the eye. Usually he was more conserved, quiet. But when with the Serpents, or talking about the Serpents, the vulnerable exterior turns into something much more worthy. 
"What the fuck is a snake?" My brother's voice erupted from beside me, blatantly concerned. "You're not joining a gang, Jasmine. That's one thing I'll agree with mom and dad about - you'll get yourself killed." I watched as his frown soften, and he rubbed at his already dry, bloodshot eyes. "I'm not doing this again." James lowered the tone, speaking more faintly. 
"James, this is the first time I've actually made friends. I need to, I can protect myself, okay? What the guy said before was true - I'd started it when he turned up outside of the Wyrm." I admitted, causing him to stand up quickly, pushing the chair to hit the wall. He towered over both Jughead and I, who were now awkwardly sat on the bed staring at him. He walked out, not looking back. 

"You don't have to Ja-" 
"No, I do. This is something I need to do, alone." I replied, sighing. Perhaps this is how I lose my last legitimate family member, as Mike wouldn't be allowed to see me regardless. James would probably tell our parents, meaning I had a limited amount of time to pack my bags and leave before they sent me away. This was it, this is where the road of family ended. And where my own, lonely road began. One leading me to my own fate, undecided by anyone else. As I sat there, listening to Jug tell me about the dance, I wondered what else I would lose before I became strong enough to survive alone.