Cigarette Burns // FP Jones

Chapter Eleven

I got out of the shower the next morning, unsure of whether my face was wet from tears, or water. It looked to be a no makeup day yet again, and most likely, a day where I would bunk school. I'd vomited for the third time in the past two days, and my stomach felt empty. I'd genuinely been concerned I was dying, though I tried to reassure myself that if mother had really wanted me dead, she'd have made it happen sooner. Luckily I could leave undetected as I had quite a lot of clothes at Toni's, so I only had to back another bag to have enough to last me a long time before I'd need to go to a launderette. As I put on my Serpent jacket, I continued to cry, and as I put on shorts, I continued to cry. Everything felt so wring, so emotional. I felt so hurt by my brother, and scared for the future. 

James came into my room, looking over the folded clothes and rolls of money. I knew I'd have to get a job to support myself, and find somewhere to stay. I looked up to his cold eyes, trying to search for any empathy. 
"Please, Ja-" I begged, but he interrupted. 
"Want mom and dad to know about your secret relationship? Or how about that boy, Jughead is it?" He knew exactly how to threaten me. 
"How do you know?" I questioned desperately, though I didn't expect him to reveal himself to me. He simply tapped his nose, leaving the room. 

 Mike was getting ready for school, and seeing him running around had set me off again. I thought of him as a baby, and how happy I'd been to find out I was having a little brother. I remember holding him, singing to him, and when he was older, dancing with him. Being impressed when he brought home a 'Slipknot' CD at nine years old, of which he'd shoplifted from the local Walmart after seeing me do it so many times. Or when he'd brought me whiskey from dad's office to apologise for breaking a bong I'd had. He looked so cute, my almost eleven year old brother, excited to see all of his little friends at school. 
"I love you, Mikey." I said, hugging him. He was almost as tall as me, but I still thought of him as my baby. He'd grown so much, physically and emotionally. He was becoming a perfect young man, though I worried who he'd become without me, being taught by my toxic family.
"Love you too, Jazzy." He said, wrapping his arms around me. I began sobbing again, to which he pulled away with confusion. 
"What's wrong?" He questioned, his voice riddled with worry. 
"I'm fine, sweetheart." I reached out, tangling my fingers through his hair. James cleared his throat in the hall, looking me up and down. I pulled away from Mike, letting him go back into his room to get ready. 
"I'll drop you to school." James said, casing me to frantically shake my head. 
"I'm not going, I'm going to FP's." I replied, pushing past him. He smiled as he saw the bag on my back, and me running down the stairs, out of the door.

-

I sat down on the doorstep, throwing my bag to one side and pulling out my phone, calling FP. He didn't answer, so I left a message to tell him I was at his, and that James made me leave. He'd probably be at the Wyrm or Pop's. 
"What are you doing here?" Jughead spoke, walking up to the steps, then sitting down beside me. 
"James kicked me out." I said, sighing, tears running down my cheeks. He placed an arm around me, bringing me closer. 
"I'm sorry. Things aren't going great for you lately, huh?" He said, moving his hand up to my head, fluffing up my hair. I laughed, through sobs, unsure of why I cared that much. After all, my family had caused more harm than good, right? I'd wanted to leave before, so why now, when there's reason to, did I not want to? 
"How come you aren't in school?" I asked him. 
"They want me to take off my jacket, as it promotes gang culture or something. So I walked out." He said. Of course, he'd wanted to win over the Serpents, and in the process became a die-hard snake. It was nice that he had such passion, but stupid that he'd needed to be so cliche about it. 

"I see." I said, pulling away from him. "Where's your father?" I questioned. His eyes dropped from me to the floor, watching as a small group of ants scattered across the rotten floorboards. "He's at the Wyrm, if I went there he'd kill me for not being in school." He said, sheepishly. I didn't reply. The two of us sat outside until I finally decided to get up, and go into the trailer. 

"Can I ask you something?" Jughead questioned, as I set my bag down once again, this time in his room. 
"Shoot." I sat on Jug's bed, head down. 
"You and my dad..."He trailed off, sitting beside me. "You always flirt, and lately he's been distant. Betty mentioned how you two could be sleeping together." He said, scratching the nape of his neck. I laughed anxiously. Of course, Betty was fucking Nancy Drew. 
"Jug, that's so weird." I replied, brushing him off. He laughed once I had replied, nodding. 
"I know, right! I told her that you'd never do that to me, man, that would like end our friendship." He said, laying back on the bed, shuffling slightly so his head met with his pillow. He'd been wearing a white muscle tee, and the usual grey beanie, alone with jeans. Before closing his eyes, he kicked off his shoes. I too followed the same pattern of lying back beside him, and taking off my shoes with my feet.

But, I couldn't sleep. As Jughead's light snores came from beside me, I tossed and turned, watching as the sunlight shifted through the window as hours passed. I'd gone on my phone, reading some online analysis of the latest movie, and then watched a few videos. Even at one o'clock, I still couldn't drop off. 

I got up, escaping my best-friend's room to get a glass of water from the kitchen. This was when FP came through the door, holding his helmet. He seemed to be in a rush. 
"I got your message, is everything okay?" He asked. I put down my glass, walking to him. He held my neck, leaning down to kiss me. 
"I'm so sorry-" He began but I shushed him, quickly looking around the corner to see is Jughead was there. 
"Jug's home." I whispered, stepping away from him, brushing myself off. I looked over to the side, where I saw the usual Chinese containers, which made my stomach churn. 

I ran the short distance to the sink, vomiting. I could feel the colour leave my body as the chunks of sick did, and my knees feel weak. My body was overworked, I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. When I'd finished, I felt FP's hand rub my back, and I tried my hardest to smile. 
"I'm okay, I'm so sorry." I said, looking down to the bile now clogging up the plughole. But FP walked to the wall, leaning over to press a button. Some grinding noises were made, and then the sick was gone. 
"Had that installed not so long ago, after Jughead would scrape his dinner off in there, and expect me to get it out." He laughed, though I wasn't exactly in the mood to. 
"I'm sorry. I am just really sick." I said, sighing. 
"It's okay." FP replied, putting an arm around me as he walked me over to the couch. 
"Lay down, I will get you some water." He spoke out, and I complied.