Cigarette Burns // FP Jones

Chapter Sixteen

Jasmine POV 

My eyes fluttered open, and immediately I felt a pain in my stomach, and in my heart. I remembered everything, being stabbed, being alone, finding FP. It was all so painful. My baby is dead. I could feel cramping, I knew I was miscarrying. All because of Malachai, that monster. The machines beside me beeped in a monotone fashion, and as I looked to them they blended in with the wall. There was no colour, much like my own room, but the atmosphere was colder, harsher. I didn't want to be awake, I wanted to remain asleep until I could handle what was going on.

"You're awake." Jughead spoke from beside me, and I turned my head. He looked rough, bloodshot eyes, shaking hands. Part of me didn't want to reply, and pretend I was still asleep, however that would be unfair.
"My baby..." I whispered, on the verge of tears again. Jug sat forward, taking my hand in his. There were dark bags beneath his eyes, and I was sure I had identical ones. 
"I'm so sorry, Jas." He said, reaching out for my cheek, wiping a salty tear away. I attempted to smile, but couldn't. 
"Can I ask you something?" Jughead said. I expected him to ask me who the father was, so I nodded with reluctance. "Was it really Malachai?" He asked, and I shot him a confused glance. "It's just, when you were in hospital before, I found a bottle of pills in your pocket, they were dad's. And I just thought, what if she did this because she was unhappy?" 

Frantically, I shook my head, crying more. "No, Jug. I don't know why I took them, I just did. I didn't want to - I didn't want to hurt my baby." I whispered. He nodded, hugging me. I sobbed into his shoulder, as he did into mine. I pulled back eventually, looking to his eyes. 
"Did my parents come down to see me?" I asked, hopeful. Jug shook his head, looking down. 
"I'm sorry Jas." 

A knock came from the doorway, it was FP. He held a bunch of lilies, like he'd given me before. He smiled faintly, walking to the seat on the other side of the bed. I was between the two Jones men, and I felt I needed to get something off my chest. Sighing, I wanted to begin, first holding both of their hands in mine. But as I tried to get the words out, I couldn't. FP eventually gestured for Jug to leave, and he nodded, standing up. 
"Wait, don't go." I called out, causing him to turn and return to his seat. "Jughead... There's something you need to know about your father." I said, anxiously. I could feel bile in my throat. "Please don't get mad." I requested, but he tensed, and didn't reply. I thought back to when he had asked if there was anything going on between the two of us, and got upset. 

  "You and my dad..."He trailed off, sitting beside me. "You always flirt, and lately he's been distant. Betty mentioned how you two could be sleeping together." He said, scratching the nape of his neck. I laughed anxiously. Of course, Betty was fucking Nancy Drew.
"Jug, that's so weird." I replied, brushing him off. He laughed once I had replied, nodding.
"I know, right! I told her that you'd never do that to me, man, that would like end our friendship."  

Well, I was sure our friendship was about to end. He wouldn't take well to the news of our relationship, let alone the fact I was carrying his sibling. I was the mother of his brother or sister, and possibly his own step-mother in the future. He was going to hate my guts, and his father's. I inhaled, trying to make the last moment of us being friends as long as possible, before I would ruin everything.

 "It's him." I whispered. Jughead looked bewildered at first, as to what I'd been referring to. But in time, his mouth flung open in shock, and in horror. He stood, pushing the chair from under him into the wall, storming to the door before turning, and pointing a finger at me.
"My own best friend, fucking my dad? How could you?" He screamed, and I cried. Shame washed over me, what I'd done was so wrong.
"Jughead!" FP shouted back, also standing. "Don't you dare speak to her like that." He was stern, and protective. It was nice to see him so caring with me in front of others; defending me.
"Protect your teenage toy, why don't you." Jug spat aggressively. "I can't believe you, Jasmine. You were like my sister." He said, and left. 

Tears spilled from my eyes, and I looked to FP, unable to move my body due to the pain I was in. 
"You didn't pick the best time to tell him, I gotta admit." FP spoke, and I shook my head. All I could think of was telling FP about the pregnancy, though it was so difficult. He didn't deserve the pain of what he was about to hear, especially considering I'd got hurt in the process. 

"FP, I need to tell you something." I said. I wasn't sure what would be harder, telling him his baby was murdered by Malachai, or telling Jughead about or secret affairs. 
"You can tell my anything, Jasmine." He said, sweetly. I sobbed, so hard I swear I could feel the stitches ripping in my stomach. It was difficult to form the words, and I took my time re-evaluating the situation again and again before deciding I had to admit this. 
"I-" I stuttered. "I was eight weeks along." The words stung, and I watched his face drop. It was like I could see his heart shattering, his life changing right before him. 
"W-what?" He questioned. The tears he'd been holding back before now rolled down his cheeks, and I gestured over to my coat in the corner. He stood, slowly walking over to it, and placing his hand in the pocket. I watched as he pulled out the scan photos, crying. 
"Malachai ripped them, but there's a chance I could tape them back up." I told him, hopeful. He looked at me, eyes empty. Slowly, I sat up, ushering him back over. My stomach stung. 
"How long have you known?" He asked, looking to my non-existent bump.
"A week. I told Jug, but I was too scared to tell you. I got you this card, I was gonna put the pictures in it and-" I couldn't finish, as it hurt too much to think about what could've been. 

In that moment, FP held me. The two of us sharing the one emotion, sadness. We clung to one another, looking to confide some sort of happiness, and yet there was nothing. A simple abyss. A darkness that we shared, because our child was taken from us. 
"Miss Cole." The doctor came in with a clip board, and a few nurses. "We're going to take your blood to run a few tests. We're checking for toxic shock, and some diseases that could have been lying around on the knife. The police will want an official statement from you tomorrow, after you've healed up a bit. There's also a counsellor we've had to sign you up with, due to the circumstances, you may experience some cramping and vaginal bleeding due to a miscarriage." The doctor shower little sympathy, making me feel uncomfortable. When he left, I looked back to FP, who looked just as distraught as before. 

"I love you, Jasmine." He blurted, holding my hand. I wasn't really sure how to react, as we hadn't actually said it properly before. I stared into his brown eyes, wondering whether we'd get over this. We had to, right? 
"I love you too, FP." I replied, reaching to his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. 

I hadn't thought it would be like this. Something so traumatic, so hurtful. I'd lost a child, a best friend, and a family. But I had a man who would love me, and at that moment in time that's what I tried to shift my focus to. Everything was fucked, but I had the Serpents. They'd have my back, even if Jughead hadn't. And FP and I could try for another child in the future, if that's what we would want. I tried to picture a happy ending, because that's all I needed.