I'm Not Fine At All

Goodbyes aren't always forever

"So what are the plans Ash?" I asked as I walked side by side with Ashton. "Well I was thinking that we could get some Macca's, then go back to mine and chill? I'm actually having band practice tonight so you can come and watch us", he smiled shyly at me, then looking at the ground. A band?! That is so cool! I find people who play instruments extremely attractive, and now that I know Ash plays some sort of instrument I am even more intrigued by him. "I would love to Ash! I love bands! Who else is in your band?" I asked. "A few guys from Norwest, you saw one of them today actually!" He answered. I was scared of telling him that I used to attend that school incase he knew my ex, so I kept it to myself.

We ate our McDonald's and tried to find out more about one another. We exchanged our likes and dislikes, hobbies, talked about our families and embarrassing childhood stories. We eventually left Macca's because Ash had to get set up for band prac. I knew a thing or two about instruments so I said I would help him set up. My dad was a guitar tech for a really famous band back in the day. As soon as I could walk and talk I was taught how to play the guitar, as well as the piano. My dad passed away when I was 13, he was on his way home from the airport after touring with the band, but he fell asleep at the wheel and collided with an 18 wheeler truck. My life crashed, just like my dad's car and the truck. I only had my mom left because I had no other siblings. Even though I thought I would be weaker after my father's death, it actually made me stronger and more prepared to face unexpected things. But I would still trade all this strength I have gained to get him back for one day.

Ashton's home was very similar to mine, after all we were neighbours. His parents weren't home so we chilled for a while, waiting for his bandmembers to arrive. "Ash this uniform is so uncomfortable so i'm going to go change, i'll be back in 2 minutes!" I said as I rose from the couch. "Okay I will probably be down in the basement when you come back so just head straight down", he smiled. I made the short journey over to my front door, where I paused and smiled at the thought of how amazing my first day at Richmond went. I sprinted upstairs and raided my wardrobe to try find some nice clothes. I settled on an opened red checked shirt with a plain white laced tshirt underneath, accompanied by leggings and my black vans. I took a quick glance in the mirror and realised how rough I looked, so I took my hair out of my ponytail and shook my long straight mousey hair out and tied it up once again. I also topped up my foundation and mascara slightly. Didn't want to scare the bandmembers off by them thinking I was a clown. I raced back down stairs, out of my house and across the lawn into Ashton's porch. I opened the front door and went to a door which I assumed led to the basement. I was right, and so I went down the steps. I heard lots of laughing and shouting going on, I could instantly tell that these boys were also bubbly and talkative like Ashton.

"Oh guys I forgot to mention, this is my new friend Indie! She just moved to my school and she was just begging to be my friend, so after hours of pleading I finally said yes", Ash joked. I laughed as I reached the bottom step. "Haw haw very funn-" I stopped. The face I thought I would never see again was right in front of me. My ex boyfriend. Michael Gordon Clifford. Even the strength I got from my father's death couldn't prepare me for this.