I'm Not Fine At All

I just stood there, I felt like the wind had just been slapped out of me. My mouth became dry and my mouth was held slightly open in shock. Those green eyes stared back at me, nearly mirroring my expression. Alongside Michael was Luke Hemmings and Calum Hood. The two of them stood with their eyes wide, not believing that it was me before them. I was really close friends with Calum and Luke before I moved, and I missed them so much. "Oh my god Indie!" Luke screamed as he ran toward me, taking me into a tight and meaningful hug. I hugged him back, still in shock. "Luke oh my god i've missed you!" I screamed back, now a smile forming on my face. "Hey what about Cal Pal?!" I heard Calum whine. I laughed and let go of Luke, rushing over into Calum's strong arms, the arms that comforted me when I broke up with Michael. "I missed you too my furry friend!" I giggled as I fluffed his hair in the hug. He let go of me and looked me in the eyes with a serious look, telling me to address the elephant in the room. Me and Michael. We stood there, both knowing it was best if we didn't hug, so we just smiled and said our hellos. "What the hell is going on here?! Guys how do you know Indie?" Ashton asked, extremely confused from what he just saw, I also got the idea that he felt the tension between Michael and I. "Yeah I used to go to Norwest, I was in the same year as these little fuckers", I laughed. I just wanted to get out, I was trying so hard to not jump into Michael's arms and kiss him. It was the most horrible feeling, knowing that I could never do any of those things with Michael ever again.

"Enough reminiscing, time to get to some banding!" Ashton shouted as he held his drumsticks in the air, looking proper punk rock, well, in his own mind...

I listened to them play a few covers which were amazing! Year 3000 was my favourite, as I am a huge Busted fan. They then did one original called "Out Of My Limit" which I really loved. I never knew these boys were so talented! I knew Michael, Cal and Luke played instruments and could sing but I never knew they were in a band. I saw Michael then speak to the boys and I could kind of hear him. "Do you guys mind if I play a song for you that I wrote? I kinda like it and I think it's good", he confessed. "Sure thing, give it a lash bro!" Calum replied. Michael looked at me dead in the eyes, and I was nearly reduced to tears, just with that look. His eyes were also rimmed with water, but knowing Michael as well as I did I knew he wouldn't crack, not in front of the boys anyway. The rest of the band sat with me on the couch, Ash taking the space next to me and smiling at me. "When you're ready dude", Luke smiled. Michael looked down at his acoustic guitar and began to strum. God I had missed the nights where he would softly play guitar to me until I fell asleep. I always asked him to do it, I loved it so much. Then he began to sing and put his eyes on mine.

"I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted,

I thought about our last kiss how it felt, the way you tasted,

Even though your friends tell me you're doing fine,

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you,

When he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you,

Sometimes I start to wonder was it just a lie,

If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause i'm not fine at all."

He then stopped, signalling that that was all he had written. My eyes which were just filled with little pools of tears before were now streaming, my makeup running down my face. I couldn't bare to face him like this, I couldn't handle it. I sprinted up the stairs and darted out of Ashton's house, running down the road not knowing where I was headed. I heard multiple voices behind me, calling me, but only one chased me. Michael.