I'm Not Fine At All

Time heals everything

I woke up the next morning feeling as shitty as ever. I had gotten little to no sleep thanks to Michael's sudden and dramatic appearance last night. I know I won't see him again though, Ash won't let it happen after he saw how I reacted to Michael's song about me. "Speaking of Ash, he is walking with me to school this morning so I better get up" I think to myself, and with that I drag myself out of the white clouds of my duvet and I fall to my carpet floor with a thud. I trudge over to my bathroom and splash myself in the face with water in an attempt to wake myself up. I then get changed into my uniform, brush my teeth, do my hair and makeup and head downstairs. I hear a knock at the door which must be Ashton, so I grab an apple for breakfast and head to the door. "Good morning Miss. Bourne" Ash sang, with his bright beaming smile. I swear this boy has a heart of gold! "Good morning Mr. Irwin. Let's get going shall we?" I asked in a posh voice. "We shall!" He grinned, while linking arms with me in a funny manner. The journey to school was just us talking about the most random stuff and laughing our heads off, I already feel so comfortable around Ashton it's crazy! Not to mention that I think i'm developing a bit of a crush on him. In fairness, who wouldn't have a crush on him? He has amazing eyes, amazing hair, an amazing personality, the most adorable laugh and also a sexy sleepy voice which I got to hear a bit of this morning. He is every girl's dream guy!

We enter registration early so that we can get the two seats at the top of the class, so we don't have to encounter the jackass jocks again. "Hey, are you okay after last night?" Ash asks, staring into my eyes with concern. I love how genuine and caring Ashton is. "To be honest it was a really big shock, I never expected to see those boys again, especially Mikey..." I whispered, my eyes drifting towards the wall so Ash couldn't see the real upset inside of me. "And then with the song on top of all that... It just got too much for me yeno." Despite my attempts of hiding my emotions, Ashton cops on to me nearly in tears. "Hey hey look at me" he says, gently putting his hand under my chin to make my face turn to his. "You're 17, you will bounce back from this don't worry. Yeah it feels like a huge part of your life has just disappeared and you feel like you'll never be whole again, but this will all go away, believe me" he smiles. "I was through a similar situation to you. My ex was in the year ahead of me and we were together for a year. It was like the two of us against the world, but then she went to a party while I was out of town. She cheated on me with my best friend and she didn't even sound like she regretted it when she told me, they ended up getting together after all. I haven't talked to either of them since and I don't particularly want to. I locked myself up all summer, I didn't see anyone, didn't go out in public, fuck I barely even talked to my own family! But one night I had a complete change in the way I was thinking, i'm only 17 for crying out loud! There will be way more girls in my life, and eventually one I will spend the rest of my life with. I can't just let the first one stop my life completely! And from that day on I have been improving, and now I have moved on from her. If I could move on from her, you can move on from Mikey." I looked up from my lap and into his eyes. He has the cutest side smile and dimples ever! His hair was perfectly straight, the fringe just the right length and at the right angle. I felt myself getting lost in his eyes again. His eyes started coming closer to me, is he leaning in to kiss me?! I froze in my place, not knowing what was going on. He then shook himself and pulled back awkwardly "Um, so yeah um, do you want to hang out again today? We can go somewhere different this time" he asked shyly, adjusting his fringe. "Yeah sure i'd love to, where are we going?" I smiled. "Aha it's a surprise madam, you shall find out when we get there" he winked. "No goddamnit Ash I hate surprises!" I whined with a little laugh. He crossed his arms and held his head high like a stubborn 5 year old. "Nope, you will have to wait!" He replied, shaking his head. I let out a grunt and gave up, he reacted by letting out a giggle and putting his arm around my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. I rolled my eyes jokingly and put my head on his shoulder. I would stay like this forever if I could, in his arms.

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I know it's a shitty little filler chapter but it is needed for the next few chapters so don't worry it is necessary! I am going on holidays today so I won't be able to update the story much but I will be writing nonstop while i'm sunbathing and shit. So when i'm home there will be lots and lots of updates! X