BAD HABITS || CARL GRIMES

nine

DREAMS are always better then reality, or at least that's how I look at it. Nothing can really hurt you, mostly good things happen, and you relive moments simply with the bad experiences taken away.

Darkness has fell upon Alexandria, the sun is at another corner of the planet and all I want is to fall asleep and let the dreams take over.

I want to forget some memories that hurt, I want to envision a better time, I want to be wholeheartedly happy.

"Go to sleep then" Carl tells me, as himself, Jack and I sit in their living room.

"All I said was that I was tired"

"You can use my room, sunshine" Carl adds with a smirk.

"I'm not going to your room, on your bed" I mumble.

"Why? Waiting for me to be there to share?" Carl chuckles as I shoot him daggers and Jack shakes his head.

I look away from Carl as a gentle blush begins to creep up my cheeks, and grab the open bottle of rum that sits on the table in front of us all. As soon as the glass bottle hits my lips, I tilt it up and let a bit of the fire like liquid run down my throat.

Maybe that can help ease on the dreams.

"Who were you with... before Carl found you?" Jack asks, not knowing the effect that his simple question can have.

Memories and nightmares flash through my mind of everything. Everything terrible thing that happened. I don't respond right away, Carl's staring at me and I know he's thinking about the day he found me crying in the woods.

"I was alone" I finally blurt out.

Jacks eyes dart between Carl and I, through the corner of my eye I see Carl shake his head at Jack and it seems to stop his sparked curiosity.

"What about you? How'd you end up here?" I ask Jack, trying to divert the conversation from being about me.

"Sort of the same way you did, somebody found me. I'm pretty sure it was...um... I don't remember who it was" he laughs. "However they offered me a place to stay, I was by myself so I took them up on their offer".

I nod my head, and hold out my hand for Carl to pass me the liquor. He does so, but a look in his eyes catches mine, trying to tell me something.

The rum burns my throat, it burns the whole way down, but it helps. It'll help me forget, it'll help me dream and it'll help me have my own little reality for a little while.

"It's getting late, how about you go to my bed? I can sleep down here, it's late Grace" Carl suggests, a longing look in his eye that I've never seen before.

"I want to have some more drinks" I bluntly state, feeling the alcohol starting to effect my tired body.

"Come on man, don't ruin a good time" Jack argues between a puff of his joint.

However deep down I knew Carl was concerned for me, that's why he wanted me to sleep. He knew my past was brought up and he knew that the next day would plague me with awful thoughts. I knew he was right...but I didn't listen.

"I want to stay up" I state before taking another large swig and slamming the bottle down onto the table, ignoring everything my body and brain were telling me not to do.

Carl frowns slightly before standing up and walking into the kitchen, I can hear the jingle of the fridge and slowly stand and wobble my way to the kitchen. I find him drinking a class of water with his hand running through his hair.

I move a bit to fluidly and hit the side of the fridge, alarming him of my presence.

"Grace, you're already dizzy..." Carl trails off as he stares at me, his blue eyes giving me goosebumps.