MLP: My Little Human

Ch. 5: My Little Back-To-School Emotions: Dread (Told by Rainbow Dash)

      If there's anything I hate, it's definitely school. The only thing I like about it is the sports (and lunch time); I'm the captain of every sports team at Canterlot High (minus the football team - I'm still waiting for Principal Celestia to approve my request for a female football team). You know what else I hate about school? When it calls you at 7:00am on a Saturday, asking you to participate in a "Back-To-School Wondercolts Sports Competition" so that you can prove to all the coaches that you've still got what it takes to be on their teams during the next school year. When I was told I have to prove myself, again, I was all, "WTF?!". Everyone knows I'm good at every sport I play. So why should I have to go through all those tests again? Ugh. I wanna just smack someone. Preferably those idiots in my grade that think it's funny to call me "Rainbow Crash" on a daily basis.

      Anywho, I arrived at CHS yesterday, August 30, 2014, at 9:00am so that I could register for the competition (or "comp." as I call it). As I expected, other students were giving me these "WTF" expressions, wondering why I, Rainbow Freakin' Dash, Ultra Super AWESOME Sports Super Star, was there in the first place. You wanna know who else was there? My cousins, Rainbow Flash, Rainbow Blitz, and Crystal Rainbow. Flash and Blitz are more like me, only I'm ten times faster and 5-foot-10-inches of awesome. Crystal, however, was more like Rarity: kinda stuck-up, flashy, obsessed with her appearance... you get the point. I was so confused; since when did Crystal care about sports? I asked and said to her,

"Crystal, why are you here? You hate sports."

"But I don't hate cheerleading!," she said, all happy and stuff (as if I cared), "The jocks aren't the only ones who have to reserve their places on Canterlot's teams, you know. Us cheerleaders have to reserve our spots on the Lady Wondercolts squad. I'm not gonna be at the bottom of the CHS food chain!"

      She flipped her glittery rainbow hair. I rolled my eyes as she walked off to... wherever she was walking. I really don't wanna get into everything that happened yesterday morning, so I'm gonna sum everything up in this list:

-I played every sport females were allowed to play in the comp., and aced every little test they threw at me.

-At 2:00pm, when the comp. ended, I was so exausted that I nearly passed out before I reached the showers.

-Some people actually witnessed me basically stumbling toward the showers and ran for help.

-The comp.'s judges and CHS' nurse rushed to my aid.

-They asked me to sit on the football field's bleachers and "take it easy".

-One judge told me that I was an exceptional athlete, but that I was pushing myself too hard to be "the best". He also asked, "Did I mention that you're one fast kid?!". The question was followed by, "I've never seen a girl move that fast in my life!". I told him, "They don't call me Rainbow Dash for nothin', sir".

-I got up (I recover pretty fast, too) and went to take my shower around 2:10.

      So in summary, I won every gold medal in CHS' sports comp. (Blitz and Flash won silver), and I'm still CHS' #1, female athlete. However, that wasn't the point of me telling you all of this. My point is: besides the sports and awesome cafeteria food, I dread going back to school! Lectures, Study Hall, and boring teachers are all that CHS has to offer academically (Twilight would be proud of me for using such a big word), and I'm just not cut out for that stuff. Academic stuff is for eggheads like Twilight Sparkle. I'll just stick to being too cool and awesome for CHS to handle.