Someone's Someone

Someone's Someone - Chapter Eighteen

Danny....

I know I should have walked. I know I should have said no. But when Henna's hazel eyes looked back at me with such pleading optimism; I just couldn't leave her. She's always been trying to save me, but I now feel like I'm beginning to save her. From what, I don't yet know.

Her unwavering kindness and her well-meant stubbornness, has managed to break through the many walls I have put up around myself. Those walls have been my only friend for a very long time. You see, when I had finally ran out of all options back in Coulsdon, I had to leave there.

Before my massive mistake, I had a great life. A life that was a respected one. I was part of something that people looked up to and really admired.

In hindsight, I took it all for granted.

In hindsight, it all belonged to my father.

So when it was all gone. When the respect and admiration had all but gone—I had to leave.

I had to go to a place where no one would know me. Where no one would ever recognise me. If I was going to have to live on the streets, it would have to be on streets where no one would ever know my name. Leaving the place where I happily grew up, was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I was leaving behind so many things—memories, where my mother was laid to rest, my brother, all of my hopes and dreams—I left them all.

It was the one and only time that I cried.

I cried like a suffering child.

A lost and lonely child.

When no more stinging tears would come, I knew that if I was going to survive being homeless, I had to emotionally detach myself from everything.

Memories, they would destroy me.

Feelings, they would destroy me.

Hopes, they would destroy me.

So, I shut them all down.

Walls of survival went up. Invisible walls of sanctuary that no one would ever be allowed inside of. It would be the only way I could live. The only way I would be able to get through the long days and the even longer nights. That is how I have survived until now. How I have coped until now. That is, until Henna.

This warm little ray of sunshine, has persistently come into my life. Even when I kept the high walls up, she kept on trying to climb over them. When I'd given up on everything, Henna still kept banging on them. Until eventually, brick by emotional brick, she removed my defensive walls from all around me.

When Henna pleaded with me to stay with her, I realised that I finally had someone on my side. The loneliness and the isolation I had cocooned myself in for months and months, was slowly but surely killing me. Although the loneliness and the isolation was of my own choice; it really had been slowly killing me.

I am damaged.

Clinging onto only my fragile pride.

Yet Henna still wants to help me.

Going against all those who deeply care about her, she still wants to help me. She cares, and I know I'm beginning to care about her.

But I am damaged. I accept that, and Henna may need to one day distance herself from all of my damage. But at the moment, she cares, and has managed to make me care about her. I think even the most damaged of hearts are the ones that really want to care, they just sometimes need to be shown how to. And Henna has shown me. She continues to show me.

So, I'm staying.

Right or wrong, I'm staying.

Henna is taking a big chance on me.

I am now willing to take a big chance on her.