|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle Cullen Fanfiction

Confessions

Declan's POV

The last few days of the school week Bella was once again the talk of the town. Everyone needed to hear it from her personally that she was okay. I could tell the constant attention was wearing her down, her eyes started looking pissed off almost always.

I'm torn between feeling sorry for her but also feeling happy that she has so many good friends. She was worried about being a outcast or not making any friends and now she has dozens of people asking her how she is everyday. It's nice to see her having more friends than me. Now I understand why Adam wanted me to try to make friends.

The Cullens haven't asked me any questions about the whole "I'm not human" thing. They haven't forgotten but I think Alice told them that I'd tell everyone when I'm ready. Which I will but the problem is that I don't even know where to start. How will I explain everything to everyone at once? That's impossible. I'll tell everyone individually most likely.

Overall, things have been going so well for me that I'm getting that anxious feeling. Y'know that feeling where you're waiting for something bad to happen. Things have been too good lately, I don't trust it.

It's Friday night and I'm working on restringing my guitar while a layer of paint is drying on my most recent piece. I'm the most impatient person I know yet I will sit for hours watching paint dry. There not enough time in the day to make as much progress on paintings as I always want to. So I end up staying up all night working on them.

I sat for hours painting individual water droplets and now I feel like if I look at that canvas again I'll lose my mind. My posture could be better, how I was sat has left my shoulders aching. I need a cigarette and maybe some RedBull.

I sat on my floor trying to stay concentrated on stringing my guitar but that cigarette wouldn't leave my mind. Neither would the other odd feeling I'm having.

It's like waiting for a sneeze, I feel like something or someone is coming. It's like a tingling in my chest and a buzzing in my brain. How do I make it go away?

Finishing the string I was working on, I stood up from my floor with a heavy sigh. I walked to my coat hook and took my cigs and lighter out of the pocket. I left my door unlocked as I walked down the hallway to the stairs.

I left out the back door and sat down on the stairs. I held my cigarette between my teeth and brought my lighter up to it. I wonder what Charlie would say if he saw me smoking.

He thinks I quit. He knows I used to smoke whatever I could get my hands on. Weed, tainted cigs , cigars, anything. There were times when I was so desperate for the sensation of smoke filling my lungs that I'd smoke tea leaves.

What kind of pathetic loser smokes tea leaves? Me I guess.

Seriously though, smoking is a nasty habit, I'm aware of that. However I'm not human, I won't die because I smoke cigarettes. Things like terminal illness isn't a problem for me.

Suddenly, I heard a sound from the trees to my left. It sounds like someone is here, but who? I told Alice she could stop by, but I doubt she would come over without letting me know.

I stared into the trees and I felt a threatening sound rise in my throat. Since when have I been able to make those sounds? I didn't think I was that far along in my transformation yet. Fucking slow down please I'm not ready yet.

Dr. Cullen stepped out of the trees with a shy smile and a wave. What? What is going on?

"Hello. I hope I didn't startle you." He spoke softly as if either of the sleeping humans would hear him.

"Hey? Are you okay? Why are you here?" I questioned, not wanting to admit my fear to him.