Willingly Loving Him

Chapter One

Ajax:

December Fourteenth.

"Alpha." Marcus bows his head in respect has he enters my office.

I don't bother to look up from my computer. I had sat down twenty minutes ago to get some work done but instead my mind wondered and lingered on thoughts of my beautiful mate. She remained lying still in a hospital bed. I thought of her constantly, it did me no good. It fuels my depression and anger. The only task I felt an ounce of motivation towards was finding the sick son of a bitch who did this and tearing his head from his neck.

"The SnowMoon Alpha family has arrived and are waiting for you in the living room, just as you asked." He continues when I pay him no mind.

Alexander had informed Octavius of everything that happed once the battle was over. He tried to leave his pack that day, but many packs in his area had began to receive threats from one man who planned to dethrone many Alpha's and claim their packs and territory. It was strange...

They called yesterday that this would be the only weekend they could come down and visit their beloved daughter, my mate. I sigh heavily and finally look up at Marcus. I give him a slight nod of the head, letting him know that I heard him and understand.

He exits my office without another word and I shove my fingers through my already disheveled hair. I look like a complete mess. The bags under my eyes were the effects of me only gaining about an hour of peaceful rest each night. The other hours of the night were consumed by desperate and sad thoughts along with chill inducing nightmares.

I stand from behind my desk and smooth out my plain back long-sleeved shirt. I try my best not to think about the situation at hand. It's hard. I'm not even sure what to say to her family. I disrespected them and failed them. I couldn't even protect the most precious thing I had taken from them.

I shove my hands into the front pocket of my jeans to hide how they shook in anger. That's the only emotion I ever really feel these days. I stop myself at the entryway of the living room and look upon the five people whom I've failed. Odessa, the youngest sibling, laid her head upon her mother's shoulder. The tip of her nose remained red and her cheeks tear stained. Her mother wrapped her arms around her lovingly, but the pain her eyes was clear. Orion and Odin sat quietly, their legs bouncing wildly in anticipation. Octavius sat completely still, a void mask upon his face. A sadness lingered heavy in the air and it was ready to suffocate me.

Clearing my throat I step into the room. Octavius stands immediately. His once deep green eyes, showed nothing but sorrow. They were so similar to Octavia's eyes I could feel my heart constrict in my chest. No one said anything, the silence piercing the air around us.

"I can't even begin to explain how unbelievably sorry I am." The words slip past my lips more naturally than anticipated.

"We don't blame you. The fault falls upon Jalex." Octavius sighs and straightens his tie. The rest of the family stands, Odessa still clinging to her mother as if she were a small child.

"Can we please see her now?" Her mother asks, keeping her arm wrapped around Odessa.

I keep my expression cool and blank. I haven't shown any signs of depression or distress in front of others. I dont think it would be appropriate of me as a leader. Although as the days pass it becomes harder and harder to control my emotions. The slightest things make me angry.

"Yes, of course. Follow me." I say turning to the front door of my home.

I had already visited my mate early this morning and her status as yet to change. The pack doctor is hoping that her family can coax her out of this coma. Although he did warn me not to get my hopes up.

"If her mate cannot coax her out of this coma I'm not sure what will. Only time will tell."

The words haunt me day and night. The memory of her small body collapsing on the ground as she choked on an ear piercing scream that caused many to cower away in fear appears in my mind when I close my eyes.

How has this become  my life?

My wolf stirs as I push open the doors to the private medical wing our mate is staying in. Things in the hospital have nearly died down and they don't have many patients left before they're all fully recovered and back on their feet after this battle.

The pack doctor approaches us with a sympathetic smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He introduces himself to Alpha Octavius and his family before briefing them on her case and medical condition. It's nothing I haven't heard a million times. I step to the side and allow them to ask their questions. I am sure they have a ton, like most normal concerned parents do.

I peek into the window of the room she was staying in, she lay there as still as can be. The rise and fall of her chest seemed painfully slow the longer I concentrated on it. Her long brown locks were pulled back into two neat braids, curtsey of Cipher. She visits as often as possible and speaks to her as though she is awake and responsive... we all do. Although as the days pass it gets harder and harder to do so.

"Levels of consciousness and responsiveness will depend on how much of the brain is functioning. A coma often lasts for a few days or weeks. Rarely, it can last for several years. If a person enters a coma, this is a medical emergency. Rapid action may be needed to preserve life and brain function. Luckily we got to her quickly and if she wakes up her brain function should be one hundred percent intact."

If she wakes up.

If.

I turn away from the door, my anger building inside of me and my heart constricting in my chest. I won't go in there with her family, out of respect for their space and because I already know how emotional they may get and I don't think I can handle that at the moment.

I watch as they cautiously step into the room before I begin to make my way down the hall, walking away from the sobs of my mate's mother. I need to find the son of a bitch who did this and give him hell.

Unedited.

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