Believers of Paradise

A R Z A A N

I brought my hand up to my cheek where uncle Rafi hit me. I knew for a fact that aunt Naima was probably shocked by what just happened. Kadir was for sure smiling out of the joy in the act that his father just performed. And I didn't want to imagine the kind of way bhai's blood was boiling right now.

"There," Uncle Rafi spat his words. "This is what you deserve. If only I did this earlier when you are young. Now a simple slap won't hurt you,"

My breathing turned louder. I don't think there were any words to describe my anger. It was something beyond out of my imagination. I wanted to do so much at the moment. I wanted to cross my limits.

"You should have just kicked them out of our house, abba," Kadir said. That was enough to make me do what I wanted to stop me from doing.

I jumped to Kadir and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Bringing my fist up, I punched him across the face. Though I didn't use my best strength, it must have been as painful as the words he has ever said to me. It was not even close to what he has said, or even done to be very honest. He deserved so much more.

     "This is my house not yours," I yelled.

      "Arzaan!" Bhai yelled and then ran up to me and held me back. I still got out. My body shook with anger.

     "Arzaan behave yourself!" Uncle Rafi said and went up to Kadir. I looked at him and saw blood from the corner of his lip where he probably hit hard against his teeth from the punch. That guy was about to take a large step towards me when uncle Rafi held him back.

     "No abba," Kadir said through gritted teeth. "Let me show him where he belongs," he fought against his dad.

     I almost forgot about aunt Naima until she said "Arzaan, please go to your room," her voice was pleading.

    I shook off bhai's hands and marched away. My heart hurt and my body burnt with fury. I wanted to do something big so badly.

     When I got inside my room, I slammed the door and sat on my bed. My hands naturally crumbled the bedsheet underneath them. I looked in the mirror that was on the wall. My eyes were bloodshot red. Getting up, I went to the wall and leaned my head on it.

     No one in this world dares to talk about my dad. He was never a man I loved, yet not a single speck could speak about him dirtily. And this is abba's house. Not uncle Rafi's.

     I couldn't help doing what was next. I punched the wall as hard as I could, picturing it as uncle Rafi or even Kadir. I knew bhai expected better for me than to actually do that in real life, so I had to stop myself. I felt a burn on my knuckles but barely looked at it.

     "Arzaan," the door swung open and then closed after bhai came in. "What was that?" He asked angrily.

    "Kadir was just practice," I said. "You're lucky I didn't go as far as uncle Rafi," Bhai then said something that surprised me.

    "I wouldn't have minded," I looked towards him. I wanted to say something but then didn't know what.

     Taking a seat on the bed again, I clasped my hands and placed my chin on it. My eyes were on the ground and bhai sat on the other side of the bed.

     I thought of something. Shaking my head, I uttered the first thing that came to mind. "That's it," I knew bhai turned to look at me. "I've had enough," I went up to my closet and opened the door of it.

"What?" Bhai asked.

"I can't do this anymore," I said.

"Do what, Arzaan?" Bhai asked getting up, concern in his voice.