Believers of Paradise

A R Z A A N

My hands rested in my pocket as I played with the photo that was placed in there. I was looking at it earlier, just as the girl I met earlier herself looked down at some sort of photo or paper. I noticed some writing on the back, but her fingers covered most of it so I didn't bother reading.

The picture I was looking at was of my father's. Abba's.

As I gave a once over him in the picture, smiling with that little girl, I couldn't help but just blame him for the whole situation I was in. If it wasn't for him, bhai and I wouldn't be running right now, asking for some sort of refuge in this world.

     Now as I sat, feeling the photo with my fingers, I closed my eyes, hoping to find some peace. I was hungry but bhai came a while ago and we both decided to get a good meal once we reached the city.

     On the other hand, the girl started interrogating me about the capital. I guessed even she was going to the city. Something about her though, makes me feel so close somehow. And I wasn't sure if I felt close to her, or the vibe of her being right there, sitting at he corner, her eyes on the path.

      "Why are you going by yourself?" I asked without even realizing I had that question in my mind.

    "Huh?" She turned to me instantly, like as if she didn't hear anything at all.

     "The capital. Why are you going there by yourself?" I repeated.

     She gulped. "Um," it's as if she was trying to find the right words. "I'm not actually," she finally said. "My best friend is with me. Just in another compartment,"

      "Well, you know what I mean," I shrugged. "Don't you have anyone in your family with you? Like parents, perhaps?" I asked roughly, my mind stuck on my own parents. Talking about other's families always set my mood wrong. But I sort of wanted an answer.

     Something on the girl's face darkened. She gulped again, looked a little to the side, and shut her eyes tightly. She looked back at me with a determined look.

"I could ask you the same question," she said.

I was confused but I couldn't help but smile. "Well, my brother is old enough, I guess,"

"You and your brother don't make a family," she said, with an annoyed look.

My smile vanished.

I looked to the ground to control my anger but couldn't hold it in.

"Then what does, huh?" My voice rose. "You," I pointed to her. "Are going to teach me that?"

"You know what," the girl started, sitting up straight at the edge of her seat. I did the same. "It's useless talking to you,"

She got up and left the compartment in a matter of five seconds. Something made me want to stop her, but I held back. She will have to come back here soon anyway.

      My fist clenched, digging deep in my palm. I breathed out heavily, trying to count down from ten. Aunt Naima told me it was something that helps while controlling anger.

That girl doesn't get to question anything between me and my family. Even though bhai and I are the only pillars of this family, it's still strong enough to withstand anything. And I will never in my life let anyone question that. No matter who it was. This girl, or anybody else.

    I stood up and walked to the window. Facing it, I once again played with the photo in my pocket.

      "Where are you, abba?" I sighed and asked in a quiet whisper. "Why aren't you here when we need you?"