Straight Boys

Can't Think Straight (1)

Zachary's POV

Oh God.

What have I gotten myself into?

What have I done?

I can't do this.

Andrew Parsley was seriously going to be the death of me. Who knew he could even, in a million years, make me want to be with him.

I had a girlfriend.

I was in love with said girlfriend.

She made me want to be with girls.

But he made me want to be with who I really wanted to be with: boys.

I pumped the two twenty pound weights on each side of the forty-five pound bar I was benching a little harder, a little faster. My muscles ached, my breathing all over the place, but I didn't care. I was thinking too much. I was thinking too much about things I shouldn't have been thinking about anymore.

You see, I've been down this road before. I have had these reoccurring nightmares running around my head with nothing to stop them before. Nobody was there to tell me otherwise, and these thoughts made me open my eyes and accept myself, not for forever, but the little month I was at that God forsaken camp. He made me accept myself until he took that acceptance and tossed it into a trashcan.

When the bar seemed to be a hundred pounds heavier, I dropped it against the rack and sat up. I balled my hands into tight fists and tried rubbing the memories out of my eyes. It was no use, though. I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Always him! I thought I had forgotten about him a long time ago.

The only thing that instantly made me lose those memories was the knock against my front door. Shaking my head to maybe dry it of the sweat - it didn't work - I fixed my headband before going to answer the front door. Who was on the other side, I wasn't expecting.

Andrew.

"Hey." I was trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, while I internally started flipping myself off from the sound of his voice. "Uh hey." This was a common thing for me. I would see him, maybe in the halls or walking to his car, and my insides would just go crazy. That was just from seeing him. The sound of his voice was doing crazy things to me. And even with Taylor, I would get the butterflies, which wasn't morally right as I was her boyfriend and I was going all school-girl-crush on another person. But ever since Saturday, I had done some thinking. The past few days had given me the time to do the thinking, and I had an idea.

I needed to lay low in Andrew's life for a while. It would do us both good, I guessed. He was most definitely straight and I had a loving girlfriend. I know I had said that I didn't want things to go back to the way they were, but now I was having second thoughts.

I didn't want to lose Andrew, but I also didn't want to lose the life I had created for myself.

So, as I stared at the boy before me wearing a yellow hoodie, I commenced my plan to maybe sort of devolve my feelings for him. It was what was best for me. It was the only way I wouldn't be hurt for a second time. "What're you doing here?" Which meant I had to keep an aura of seriousness around him now. My jokes obviously only led to bad things, so none would leave my mouth.

He cleared his throat as I leaned against the door frame trying to act cool and like I wasn't bothered by the way he was red in the face - from embarrassment or the chilling air, I didn't want to know. "Well, you see... uh well, I... need you." He fumbled over his words, and I dont think he knew exactly what he was saying and what it was doing to me. I as quietly as possible inhaled a cool breath of air to try and sedate my racing blood. I could already feel my skin prickling from the words he spoke. I needed to calm down.