Straight Boys

Look Straight

I had a lot to think about.

First of all, what the fuck?

Second of all, what the fuck?

I stared after Corbett Connors as he walked back into the corridor of straggling teens rushing to class before the final tardy bell rang. He slipped in between two girls, barely brushing one of their bags and quickly - almost nervously from the uneven step sizes he took - strode to his first class. He, maybe trying to use his manipulative skills on me, turned his head just the slightest bit and made eye contact with me; me, who was still stuck in that odd corner of our school with nothing but a janitor's closet to the left of me, and a storage closet to the right.

He narrowed his eyes, but his whole face screamed relief for some reason. And then he faced forward and turned down a different hall and out of site.

So I had a lot to think about.

What was wrong with Corbett? Why did he act like that?

What was he thinking?

No, more importantly, what was he going to do?

I sighed in annoyance, crossing my arms. I dropped against the wall behind me in utter defeat, not knowing what I was going to do. I couldn't really do anything as of right then. I couldn't make myself go to class, so I was going to miss it, and all because of that prick. I didn't care that I was going to be late to class, though. Maybe my teacher would understand. I was having a crisis here!

Corbett Connors had video evidence of me and Zachary Rogers kissing. He could blackmail me. Well, isn't that what he was doing now? He was definitely blackmailing me, and maybe Zach as well. Oh God, what was I going to do?

The bell rang, and it rang slightly louder than it had ever before. It was probably because I was agitated, angry, annoyed, whatever you could call someone who was about to have more mental breakdowns in a hallway, than they had ever had in all of their life.

I was very susceptible to mental breakdowns these past couple of months, and I was starting to hate it. I hated losing control, being so vulnerable.

Slowly sliding down the white bricks, I took a much needed seat in that fucking corner, and, with my legs limply stretched out in front of me, I dropped my head into my hands; as if holding my own thoughts would help me to pick out the best solution among the disarray and chaos clotting my mind.

Corbett Connors knew everything.

Corbett Connors was a whirlwind I would probably never understand; and that little chat we had a minute or two before only further proved that fact. He was a landmine I didn't know I had stepped on until he showed me how explosive he seemed to really be, how so lost and untouched he was until I took a step in the wrong direction and he blew me to fucking pieces.

Corbett Connors was obviously unstable, and even I could see that in the way he so suddenly changed his facial expressions and emotions like he was trying not to show me what really was going on.

What really was going on?

All I knew - or didn't really know per say - was that, if Zachary found out about how Corbett Connors held me, held me seemingly so lightly like - and as I come to think of it - like he was afraid, would he really care like I cared so much that he runs back to Taylor Haynes every day, leaving me behind to breathe in his dirty dust of second thoughts and secrets?

Would he go crazy like I do every single time I see him and that scanty girl kiss because he somehow saw Corbett Connors trying to kiss me? Trying? He barely kissed you, yet that's still a kiss, isn't it?