La Mort et ses Merveilles ✔

12. Maternal Love

La Mort et ses Merveilles

Chapter 12: Maternal Love

Things between the two of us went back to normal the next day, or so it seems. Or at least that was what I wanted to believe. Yet try as hard as we may, Leslie was ultimately right –things were never going to be the same.

We tried to treat each other like before, but there was always that heavy tension in the air. I didn't know how I felt about Leslie. Sure, I guess we were friends, but somehow it didn't feel that way. Friends don't just grab each other's privates. Leslie's mixed messages didn't help me either.

"Have you ever been around someone and you can't just get enough of them?" he said all of a sudden during lunch. "That you just can't help sticking around, that you don't want to leave them?"

I gulped. I could feel my heart thump in my chest. He was looking directly at me, straight into my soul with his eyes as blue as the sea. He tilted his head to the side, and his lips were slightly parted. From his chiselled chin to his prominent cheekbones, he seemed perfect. Even with the crumbs around his mouth, I didn't mind. He was a messy eater after all.

We sat there like that, staring at each other for what probably felt like forever, until the young man cut it off, shifting his gaze elsewhere. I could see the redness bloom in his cheeks.

"Are you talking about. . . me?" I asked.

The young man only batted his eyes.

"No, no," he replied, shaking his head. "I was talking about my girlfriend from high school."

"Oh," I blurted out, sinking my teeth into my tongue. "Of course."

What was this tight feeling in my chest, the bitter aftertaste in the back of my throat? I was fine. Leslie had a girlfriend, and he was talking about how much he liked her. Yet at the same time it couldn't be more obvious that he was talking about me. The way he looked at me like that, it had to be. Yet I didn't know what to do.

Why would I even be hurt? I myself wanted to deny what happened that night. So why am I feeling like this when Leslie did the very same? I tried to shake off this feeling as I continued to wolf down my lunch.

That afternoon I was overseeing inventory in the infirmary, with Leslie hovering in the background. I wished he would go away, to be frank. The way he made my heart thump in my chest made it hard for me to concentrate. I had to recount a few of the boxes of pills after I missed them, thanks to Mr. Carpenter.

He just leaned there against the wall, folding his arms. He wore a grey long-sleeved tee and a pair of cargo pants.

"Sorry," he said all of a sudden, breaking the silence.

I turned to see what this man child wanted.

"I didn't have a girlfriend in high school," he confessed, stepping towards me. "In fact, I've never been with anyone before."

I was about to step back from him, but he grabbed my hand, sandwiching it between his two palms. I could feel the warmth rush to my cheeks. Does that mean that whatever he said as lunch now was about me? I gulped. I looked into his eyes as he bent forward, inching closer towards me.

I couldn't let this happen. Not when I was still recovering from the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days. I just wanted things to just return to how they were. Whatever this was, I didn't want it to stand in the way. Maybe one day I might think about this, where we can finally sort this mess out, but as of now, I wasn't in the right state of mind.

I pulled my hand away and backed a few steps.

"Sorry," I muttered as I turned away. "I have a lot of work to do."