You're Only Happy When I'm Wasted. [All Time Low Fanfiction]

I've Had You So Many Times.

Silence.

Alex felt his lips, his eyes were wide with surprise. He stared blankly into space first, and then his gaze fell to my eyes. His mouth was open, agape. "Oh, Fuck, Alex! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-- Oh my God!" I whimpered, tears were starting to rim into my eyes. My chest suddenly felt heavy, and everything was starting to turn into a blur. Alex closed his mouth and tried to calm hinself down. "Stella...? W--What was that for?" he asked weakly.

"Nothing. I said nothing!" the tears were rushing fast into my cheeks. "Alex, I want to go home."

Fuck. Why am I even crying? Because I was too scared to say anything else? Because I didn't want him to let him know how I felt? God, damn it. I don't even know what I feel for him. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. That was my first freaking kiss. My first kiss... I don't know. Now, I'm not even sure if these are tears of joy or because I was too embarrassed. God, I'm starting to wish Mara's stab did me in.

He froze at this. I bit my lip and prayed he wouldn't say things like 'No, we have to talk about this.' or some shit like that, but he just sighed and gave me a small, forced smile.

God, he hates me now.

"Are you sure you're you're feeling better now?" he asked me. I quickly nodded in reply. "Great. I'm just going to tell them that you can already charge out.". He turned for the door, his fake smile was gone.

Why is everything such a bad idea?

"Feels like I'm falling in love alone..."

My eyes searched the familiar room and I slowly made my way to the dining table. What I wanted to do was dance around it and sing, but I'd rather not embarrass myself in front of Alex. "I'm home." I breathed out. Alex laughed from behind me, and I felt his eyes were instantly scanning me as he did so.

Okay, Stella. Relax. Calm down.

Oh God, this is getting nowhere.

I sighed and finally gave in. I sat beside the nearest couch and locked my eyes with him. "Alex, Look. Please let me explain." I pleaded. Alex hesitated in surprise, but soon gave in. He sat beside me on the couch. His eyes were somehow relaxed now, but a hint of shock is still embedded in his eyes. I took a deep breath, and opened my mouth... But nothing came out.

Fuck.

"Stella...?" Alex had started before I could even think of anything. I immediately slumped down the couch, half-thankful. "Yes, Alex?" I answered. He fixed the way he sat, so that his eyes were focusing hard on me. "Do you like me?" he asked. I gulped nervously in reply. I just knew this was coming. I knew it. I turned away from him and started to play with my thumb to ease the nervousness. "I--I--I don't know, Alex." I confessed weakly. He cupped my face gently and faced them to him. "Listen." he said softly. "To be honest, I really want to talk about this." his cheeks flushed. "A-About the way we f-feel towards each other... But you know what happened between me and Lisa, and I need to recover from that. Besides, you're not even over that dickhead who hurt you." he placed his hand on mine. "I want to talk about this when we're both healed. When we've moved on with the past. I hope it's okay with you, Stella." he tried to give me a consoling smile.

Whew.

I sighed in relief. Thank God, it didn't turn out that bad. All the negativity I felt started to leave my body like a powerful force was starting to take them. I found myself with my panic dissolved and a real smile was etched on my face. I nodded and gave him a hug. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, Alex." I whispered. We stared on for minutes until a loud grumbling escaped from my stomach.

Silence.

"Pft." Alex snickered. I pulled away from him and punched him playfully on the arm. "Cocksucker!" I screamed, trying hard not to turn red from embarrassment. "You don't have a cock." Alex answered back, a smirk was forming in his lips.We laughed at this, and I felt loads better.

I reached my arm towards him and he grabbed my hand. We both stood up, and he smiled at this, wrapping his other arm around my waist. I started to blush fiercely. We returned to our casual talking as we walked towards the kitchen.

Suddenly , Alex stopped. His smile was gone, and he was giving a suspicious look straight ahead. "Alex?" I murmured, and followed his gaze.

My mind stopped dead.

"Hey, Stell." Ivan smiled at me.