Pretty mixed eyes ( Poussey Washington )

Part 3

" Like that whole 'Go big or go home?' type of shit?" Poussey asks putting her book down getting ready for my answer.

" Yeah it a way. I always thought of big abstract things. Especially when I was on drugs I'd paint what I'd see." I said sounding a little ashamed that I had to use drugs for art.

"Man that's so cool. Where did you paint?" She asked with pure interest.

"Well I started in parking garages then moved to alleyways then ended up selling street art which led to businesses paying me to paint the inside or outside of their stores." I say with a smile looking down remembering how I enjoyed doing what I did.

"Man then how did you end up in here? You sound harmless." Poussey asks with a very confused look plastered on her face.

"Well I was painting one day for the hell of it and I was high." I say trailing off from my story.

"Andddd?" Poussey moves to sit in front of me now.

"Me being the dumbass I am started to paint in front of a cop. I didn't check my surroundings and that's when they found out I had weed." I say my voice saddened when I tell the story.

"P it's time for lunch." Taystee yells from the entrance.

"You want to sit with me today?" Poussey asks as she holds out her hand to help me up.

"Is that okay with your crew?" I ask back getting on my feet.

"I don't see why not. Just stay with me and everything will be okay." She says with a smile.

Poussey interlocks our fingers together and leads me around to the cafeteria. We stand in line together and I'm in front of her. Then her crew shows up behind her. First Tastee and then a bunch of people I don't know. I get my food and start to walk to Nicky out of habit when Poussey touches my arm looking at me confused.

"Sorry it's a bad habit I'd follow Nicky and sit with them." I say looking down.

Poussey pushes my head up and leads me over to her table and she sits me on the very end so no one can touch me and she sits right beside me. Then a crossed from me Taystee sits giving me a smile as of course I returned the favor. Then the table filled up and I felt really intimidated and self-conscious. I'm very short and I'm not strong. They can kick my ass. They all tower over me and that terrifies me.

"Yo who's the white girl by you P?" A girl with puff ball hair asks which led to a chimes of yeahs.

"I just realized I never learned your name. I just started calling you by your nickname." Poussey says to me.

"Which do you wanna know? First or last?" I ask looking up at the girls around the table. A few looked down with discomfort and one girl with hair that stocked out went on a rant about my eyes. Man this shit gets annoying after awhile.

"Both." Poussey one word answers me so she can stuff food into her face.

"Floyed Crosby" I say as I shovel food into my face after.

"Guys this is Floyd Crosby, pretty eyes this is crazy eyes aka Suzan, this is black Cindy, and that is Janae Watson." I nod and finish my food.

Everyone looked at me because I'm petite and I just downed the food fast. I get up and throw away my trash and I was about to walk back to Poussey and her group until my name was called.

" CROSBY FRONT AND CENTER " A CO yells at me.

"Here." I say calmly walking up to him and I see Poussey being held back by Watson.

"You're getting your bunk assignment. Let's get you out of orange." The man says walking away.

"Meet me in the library when you're done." I hear Poussey yell but I'm out of the cafeteria before I could reply.

I was assigned to the suburbs and I'm bunked with I don't know because they're not in here. I set my stuff up and change into all tan and clip my name tag back onto my clothes. I walk towards the library when I pass the phones. I think for a solid 30 seconds and walk up to them. I was going to call my dad but I decided against it. Then I thought of my mom. I just ended up walking away from the phones because so much is going on already n I don't want to somehow make it worse. I somehow end up making things worse. Now I just feel sad. On the outside my dad was a big business man and cheated on my mom and my mom ended up becoming an alcoholic and kinda abusive. My dad divorced my mom right away and got remarried to his new lover. I was broken. He just left and it seemed so easy for him. He dropped everything and went to better it feels like. I was 16. So 4 years ago and it's still affecting us. My mom went on a downhill spiral and my dad didn't even bat an eye. Yeah I got to see him but he never payed attention to me. N that's when I started to get into the drugs. By the time I started to think of the drugs my eyes start to water. And I feel arms wrap around me.  I was walked into a corner and sat down. I can tell it was Poussey holding me. She pulls me up into her lap and starts to stroke my hair.

"Floyed baby don't cry. Talk to me." Poussey says and that's when I break and cry softly into her shoulder.