Dragons of War - Rising Storm

Chapter 12 (1/2)

That day began like all the rest but it was not.

I woke well before the sun, scaled the many stairs it took to reach the high plateau and began the routine I had grown bound to. It gave me hope that I was still striving towards something.

Was I though?

A warm morning glow lit the rocks in an orange hue as I sat there. Dew covered the brush and spiderwebs sparkled in the light. Fog and haze covered the lands far below the mountain I was on and the waterfall at the far end of the plateau glowed with morning light. It took my breath away.

Today was different and I didn't know why.

Was it the thoughts I'd had or the things Lewis had said?

Every step I took that morning had felt like it was the step of someone else. A being I was observing from within, yet I had complete control over.

Had my own thoughts shaken me that much?

I looked out into the lands below the cliff in front of me, the space between endless. My mind felt the space and in the silence that was there, I felt that strange feeling again, the one from the day before. The moment it was there, it was gone and I turned away from the beauty of the land below.

Why had it returned now? I wasn't even thinking about the memories I had from the machine...

I pushed the thoughts away and focused on my morning routine as usual.

Alone I sat to meditate. Alone I stretched to the sky. Alone I ran the trails around the caverns.

The lessons continued for me, despite the instructor not being there to watch me, I knew he would question me after I was done. He didn't have the time to waste watching me himself.

After the meditating, the stretching, the running and the climbing, it was time to meditate again.

My first session of meditation I'd done that morning was fruitless. I tried to think of all the things I'd felt and remembered from the night before but nothing came to me before it was time to move on to stretching and running. This time I thought of something different though.

I was going to do this. I had to. Not because people were expecting it, not because I expected it, but because I wanted to. This was why I had done everything that I had. I wanted this.

I sat with a heavy sigh. The rocks burned beneath my hands from the bright sun above my head but I ignored it and sat with a straight back, my eyes first locked on the scenery in front of me and then the darkness of my eyelids.

I calmed down by counting my breaths to sixty and then I let my thoughts go.

If revenge wasn't the feeling of power, then what had I thought of when I was in that machine?

Had I? I couldn't remember everything, so how could I know I'd even thought of anything?

I went through every memory in my mind endlessly, each bringing a different emotion, a different feeling, and shape. If I went through them all, I would have to find one that worked... Right?

The deaths of everyone I knew.

Solitude.

The fear of being taken away from my home.

Abandonment.

The horror of seeing war.

Anger.

The rise of the Dragon Warriors.

Excitement.

The fall of my dream.

Emptiness, and familiarity.

I was more familiar with being empty than knowing connection.

I opened my eyes, a weight in my chest grew and it made breathing harder.

What was the point of revenge if you weren't doing it for others?

The dark thoughts were a distraction from my goal and I shook my head to get rid of them but the weight remained.

I heard voices over the rocky rise of the higher plateau level. The other Dragon Warriors came jumping over the rocks and landed on the flat area where I was. Their lesson must have finished. I lost track of time completely. It meant mine was long over as well.

Of the trail of people who passed me I noticed my own old group among them, following in the others wake. Kevin leading the charge, Fred trailing behind the group.

Fred noticed me sitting there and waved to me with a smile. He wanted me to join them.

My heart rose with the sight and offer, but then reality struck and the weight returned with the force of a brick wall.

Even if I joined them, I would stand in the background unnoticed and even if I was noticed, I had nothing to say to them. They thought of me as a child that knew nothing of this world that I was now in. They weren't wrong but they were wrong to deny it from me still, even knowing that. And so what if my time with them was actually good? It's not like I would be with them much longer. Once a Dragon Warrior had been labeled 'incomplete' they were transferred to the army. I would hardly see them again. Or anyone else for that matter.

My training was done for the day, I knew it was time to leave anyway and I heaved myself to my feet and walked over to them with a chest full of lead.

As I walked, my heart pounded with every step, I thought back on the things I could have felt or seen in the machine. If it wasn't revenge, happiness, sadness or fear what was left?

Without the answer, my mind became blank and I left go.

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