CODES

S I X T E E N

I was gasping, thrashing, reaching into the air. My fingers stretched, then closed. Nothing was there. Emptiness. Darkness. Death.

"Roger!" A hand touched me, wrapping warm fingers over my skin. The sensation of reality. I wasn't empty, I wasn't nothing.

I was alive. It was a dream.

No, it wasn't.

My eyes snapped open and the first thing I saw was Xerses' office, not the old road in my memories. The blurry certificates and diplomas on the wall gave me a sense of peace; I was back into the world I knew.

Reaching out to my side, I grabbed an arm. When I pulled and Xerses came closer, face in front of mine, I sighed. Then the ringing sounded in my ears.

I winced and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Hey, hey." Roger pulled the devices from my head. He helped position me back in my seat. I glanced at him just as sweat dripped from my brow, onto my nose. The look on his face, the amount of concern; I felt it. I gripped his arm as he checked my eyes. "Can you hear me?" he asked.

Slowly, I nodded.

"Okay." Xerses sighed. "I need you to—"

"Don't." I knew what he was going to ask; I needed to identify myself, my model, and my name. For once I didn't need the reminder that I was a part machine. I wanted to feel grounded, as a human should. "Don't make me say all of it," I whispered, glancing at his face. "I'm here, I'm aware, that's all you need."

Xerses frowned. For a second, I focused on him and ignored the waves of electricity behind him. I wished they weren't there; if I pretended they weren't, then they'd go away. But when his face appeared, grinning, I closed my eyes. Squeezed them shut.

Xerses placed a hand on my forehead. "Okay," he said. "Can you tell me what happened? I lost you.

When I opened my eyes again, I swore I saw the old Province Hall office, not Xerses' office. And his face. Grinning. Winking.

Polk.

I groaned, feeling sick. I couldn't do this. There was no way I could just stay here.

"Move," I whispered as I pushed off the chair. My knees buckled. I couldn't stand. As a small pain shot up my back, I hissed and pressed one hand to the floor.

"Rog." Xerses came beside me. "Come on. What happened?"

I was lost, wasn't I? But I wasn't alone.

Polk wouldn't get out of my head. Thinking it over, I reminded myself I'd never forgotten him. It was impossible to; I only chose to push him aside. Truth was, he was embedded in my memories; a part of me I couldn't get rid of.

And yet my memories were of him weren't him. Zara's undocumented data had been in complete control. Zara kept him there as a puppet.

He didn't look like a puppet in there...

I sucked in a painful breath as I looked into Xerses' eyes.

What did Xerses find?

"I need you to sit back down." Xerses helped me up. With a gentle tug, he got me to stand and walk back to the seat. I leaned my head back against the headrest, sighing before I closed my eyes. Xerses gave me a slow shake. "Talk to me."

I didn't look at him, but whispered, "Polk was in my head."

"Polk? How?"

Opening one eye, I glanced at him. I felt the sweat drip down my brow. "In my memories. They were completely normal, but...he was there."

"I don't get it." Xerses pulled up a chair and sat beside me. "He wasn't stored data like everyone else. And he died." He placed a hand on top of his head, blinking fast as if he tried to remember it all. "He... you saw him die."

I did, didn't I? I saw him when he got shot in the head. Back then, I was able to read a person's diagnostics with a blink of an eye. What Clara and I fought when we'd returned to the Hall to end the war wasn't him, it never was. And the puppet Zara controlled was his deteriorating corpse.

"I did." Sliding my hand over my face, my fingers drew back, sticking with my sweat. I closed them into a fist. "And he's in there," I looked at the sphere he'd taken off my head and placed on the table, "hiding in the Void somewhere."

Xerses' gaze slid over to the sphere, too. For a moment, he didn't move. He placed his finger on his chin, brows furrowed. Then he dipped his head to one side and sighed. "What did he say?" he asked.

"You're not wondering why?" I adjusted myself in my seat.

Pursing his lips, he closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. I should, but I vaguely remember someone else in there with me before that wasn't you."

Despite the ringing in my ear, and the pain in my back, I leaned forward to whisper, "When I'd visit you in the Void?"

Xerses gave me a slow nod.

I sighed. "Shit."

"So," he glanced at me, "what did he say? He had to be in there to say something."

"Yes, and no." I looked down at my fingertips. The blurriness faded away. Penetrating thoughts of Polk did, too. "I wasn't in there long enough to hear what he had to say, but," I looked back at Xerses' face, "be he said enough for me to know I needed to wake up."

Xerses blinked, opened his mouth to say something, I added before he could, "He made it seem like he's been releasing data. He said it's cluttered. And he was letting each of us remember."

What I said... made Xerses' brows shoot up. He quickly moved from his seat, walked over to the cabinet, and grabbed a bottle from inside of it. With one twist, he opened it, poured a pill into his hand. "Take this," he said as he handed it to me. "Water's on the table."

Water. Right. That was something I needed in general. Popping the pill into my mouth, I reached for the bottle at my side.

Xerses put the medicine back before glancing at me. "What you said made me think of Luke."

I finished the water before realizing what he said. "Why Luke?" I blinked at him. "Did he say something?"

"Actually, yeah he did." Xerses returned to his seat. He cupped his hands under his chin, clearing his throat. "I just brushed it off as a weird Malfunctioner glitch, but what you said matched what he told me."

Slowly closing the water bottle, I watched him and waited for him to continue. From my side, it looked like he was getting his thoughts together, sorting them to find what was the right thing to say to me.

All of it, X. Say it all.

Xerses straightened. "Luke said someone had been giving him his memories back during each of our sessions. I just thought it was just the way he processed the information to make it normal, you know, but," he sighed, "maybe Polk really is giving back memories. Maybe he regrets it all."

"Maybe..." I sat back against my seat and pressed my lips into a thin line. As much as I wanted to believe Polk was doing something good for the Codes, I knew it couldn't be that easy.

Zara had been the one to take over the world with a push of a digital button and unleashed each of us into the minds of others. She hadn't been out to do good; at least, not for everyone. Polk said he was only doing what she wanted.

I closed my eyes and stood, whispering, "Or maybe no..."