Smash!

•F O R T Y F I V E•

It's starting to get dark out.

My tired eyes watch the sun dip low behind the city's buildings through the smudged bus window. With nowhere else to go, Jamie and I sit at the back of the bus, silently riding through every stop, but never getting off. As I watch the street lights flick on over the dirty streets the bus is rolling pass, a bitter taste forms in mouth when I remember how Nate and Robin use to sit at the back of the last running bus at night, just as Jamie and I are doing now, to makeout till the driver kicked them both out. The difference between the four of us, is that Robin and Nate were too high to care.

I try to push the intrusive thought out of my head, while I look over my shoulder at Jamie. Unlike earlier, Jamie sits on the opposite end of the stretch of seats, rather than the empty spot to the right of me. I've finally done it. I've made Jamie angry. Freckled cheeks still flushed with anger, facial features tight with frustration, back to me, Jamie glares out the window. Refusing to let the tears spill over down her cheeks, she tries to blink them away from her green eyes.

What I did back in the elevator was impulsive. I hadn't planned on that stunt of misleading Jamie like that. To be honest, I never think anything through... I just acted on Jamie's well being and faced the danger alone. These last couple of days, Jamie got her home demolished, lived out of a car while hiding from the police, then was traumatized and abused when she was held against her will to get a permeant tattoo. Everything she's been through just seemed worse during that elevator ride up. So, how could I put her through more?

The look on Jamie's face when those elevator doors reopened... Jamie finally came to her emotions. A god smacked expression that looked in my direction with such heartbrokenness. She's never believed in yelling to resolve things, but I pushed her to the point of shouting. I meant to keep her safe, but like always, I hurt her.

Despite not having said a word to me since we left Nate's building, Jamie can't restrain herself. Every few minutes she turns to look back at me, checking to see that I am intact and still breathing. Every fiber in my being wants to me reach over, pull her in close, and cradle her against my chest while I tell her over and over again how I'm sorry. My beaten up body aches a tad more without her. Yet, I don't dare. I fucked up.

Then I see it. Before I even know it, my arm shots up over my head and my fingers are pressing down on the stop button so hard I might break it. I get up to my feet while the bus is still in motion. I fight to keep upright at the sudden stop, and crash through the bus doors as they begin to slide open. I ignore the sharp pain of my broken nose as I begin to run for it, every breath feeling like the bridge of my nose is breaking all over again.

"Riley!" I don't get very far before Jamie's good hand encloses around the hood of my black hoodie. The black duffel bag she made me go back for hangs off her shoulder, banging into her side as she catches up with me. Her green eyes are bright with disbelief, while casting me a panicked look.

"Sorry," I mutter under my breath. "I really didn't mean to leave you behind."

"Then why do you keep running away?" Jamie's voice has an accusing edge to it, but it's barely noticeable with all the worry in it.

"That," I point off into the distance. A few blocks down towards the off skirts of the city sits the abandoned warehouse that Nate deals out of. The warehouse is a gigantic four story block of concrete. With no windows and all the doors boarded up, it's a depressing hole with no sunlight at all. Graffiti is tagged on the bricks of concrete and heaps of litter is dirtying the unshoveled snow banks. "That over there is where Robin is."