Smash!

•T H I R T Y E I G H T•

Riley's POV

"Is it over?"

The first thing I see when I pry my brown eyes open is locks of Jamie's red hair. Head buried at the back of her freckled neck, I let my eyes shut, silently coming to terms if I die right here, I'd die a nothing and a failure, but at least I won't be alone. Lifting my head up, I untangle my legs from our dog pile. It's silent. Too silent. As if Nate was never here to begin with.

The apartment is in ruins. A thin cloud of smoke hovers in the air like a fog. Broken glass, bullet shells and couch stuffing litter the broken floor. The furniture looks like Swiss cheese, so torn up by the dozens of bullet holes it's unsalvageable. What's left of the windows stays in place, but gaping holes leave behind violent looking cracks.

"He's gone." I breathe, not sure when the firing stopped or when Nate ducked out of here, or how long we cowarded on the ground. Helping the two up, I can't help but pat them down.

"You're okay? Does anything hurt? Did you get hit?" I keep repeating, needing to feel how whole and safe Robin and Jamie are against my own hands.

"I'm fine." Robin is the only one who answers. Jamie stays unmoving by my feet, her sweater coated in layer of dust of drywall, paired with chunks of paster trapped in her red hair. Clutching a wrangling Killer to her chest, Jamie takes in the debris with a crushed expression, her mouth hanging open in a silent whimper, and worst of all, her green eyes pooling with tears she refuses to let fall.

"You need to stand up, Jamie," Robin says in such a soft voice, I didn't know she was capable of such a gentle tone. "There's glass on the floor. You'll cut yourself." Robin carefully guides the redhead back up to her feet. Jamie's green eyes finally land on me, the disbelief nothing compared to the hurt throbbing in them. I have never in my live hated myself so much. I rot in the inside, a sharp, burning pain seeping through me and tearing me apart.

This is all my fault. I was selfish with Jamie, I was greedy with her comfort and love. Despite fully knowing I ruin everything I touch.

"Riley," Jamie's voice is so hushed I barely hear her. "You're bleeding."

"What?" I finally take a good look at myself, seeing shards of glass up the length of my cut up arms. The blood is stark red against the pasty dust of dry wall covering me. "I didn't even notice..."

"Does it hurt?" Jamie rushes forward, not knowing what to do with her dirt covered hands. Sirens seeping through the bullet holes in the window with the icy December breeze, getting closer and closer by the second. No doubt the other residents in the building called.

"We got to go." Robin rushes off towards the hole in the wall bedroom, glass crunching under her feet as she hurries.

"Go?" Jamie questions with a shaky voice. "We have to stay. We're gonna be questioned. We have to make a statement."

"Didn't you hear Nate?" Robin chokes. "You call the police on him, you call the police on us." Robin gestures at herself and I. "Riley sells drugs for a living. He carries a fire arm."

"I got that registered." I say under my breath, but it's ignored. We all know I'll get at least a fine when the cops find it improperly stored.

"Jamie, I have drugs in my system. I'll barely pass a breathalyzer, let alone a drug test. I have them on me right now. You don't even want to know what else I've done." Robin revels a baggie of pills, all of them in a disorderly rainbow of colorful little capsules. Jamie looks horrified, and I feel a part of her crumbling, her morals and beliefs caving in on her.