12 ¦ Rationalization

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A gaping hole festered in my heart after I'd severed ties with Bryan. 

They say time heals all wounds. Apparently, they don't just mean days.

It didn't help that I'd actually believed him. Vilifying Bryan would have made the process a lot easier, but my heart couldn't justify such a reaction. I half-expected him to ring the doorbell with a bouquet of flowers. 

A part of me wondered how I would respond if he did that. Should I let him back into my life as a friend? He seemed to show true remorse. 

If I did, how long could we keep up the facade of friendship? Within a few months, we'd be right back to where we were before the fight, arguing over when we would finally kiss...and more.

No, I made the right decision. No matter how much it hurts. 

What truly upset me was Nicky's deceit. Thanks to this drama, I'd lost not one best friend, but two. All this time, I thought I could trust her, and I found it difficult to believe that I could misjudge someone so badly.

It didn't make any sense.

For the past few days, I'd put the whole asexuality question on hold. Half of me was trying to figure this shit out while the other half was on tenterhooks waiting for Mom's approval to go to Holy Cross.

The door chime dinged on AIM, and my heart leaped into my throat. I hoped beyond hope that it wasn't Bryan. I didn't know if I could muster the strength for round two. 

Whew, it's Eric. 

No sooner had he signed on than a new window popped up on my screen.

No sooner had he signed on than a new window popped up on my screen

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Yes, I was cursed with having April Fool's Day as a birthday. Now, one might think it'd be the coolest thing since we'd exchanged unfashionable '80s spandex for baggy, hip-riding jeans. 

But no. 

Every year people pulled pranks on my birthday. Stupid jokes, spiders, stealing my shit, you name it. Those that didn't pull a practical joke just believed I was lying about it as a gag.

They always gave me that incredulous look like they were waiting for me to say, "Psych! My birthday is on November 25, dumb-ass." 

After all, no one would be idiotic enough to exit a uterus on April the First.

After all, no one would be idiotic enough to exit a uterus on April the First

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