Mask of Celibacy: A Multimedia Novella

13 ¦ Early Birthday

When I reached the top of the stairs, my grandparents were arguing in hushed tones. I'd long since learned how to quiet everything--my steps, my breath--to listen in on their conversations about me.

I know it's bad, but they never tell me anything. At least nothing important.

And I need to know if this Holy Cross thing is happening or not.

One advantage of living with people in their late seventies was that their whispers resembled soft voices. They thought I had ears and eyes like a hawk. In reality, I just wasn't ancient, which made stealthy reconnaissance missions easier.

"Stop with the laundry list of rules, Carm!" Grandad growled under his breath. "Let the girl breathe."

"You know how she is," Mom said. "She gets all excited, and we won't be able to afford it."

"She's going to be eighteen in a few days."

"I know."

"She'll be an adult. You need to give her space, or she'll push us away." He pushed in the chair with more force than necessary. "Make her get a job and pay for it herself if you're worried."

"Jess needs to focus on school and work later, Ted." Mom sighed. "I need to know she's okay, but I don't want her getting into trouble or racking up a huge bill or talking with strange boys."

"Sometimes, Carmel, you don't know shit from Shinola!"

"Ted!"

I could imagine her incredulous, disdainful expression. It took all my willpower to stifle a giggle behind my hand. All too right. And the worst part was that Mom had the intellect to know better.

"I caught her arguing with Bryan on the phone," she added. "If she does that for hours, we'll be out of house and home."

WTF? Was she listening to my conversation?

Oh, wait...

A pang of guilt stung my chest.

"Why did you let me buy it for her if you were going to kick up such a fuss?" he asked.

Mom always said Grandad was like a teddy bear: gruff on the outside, but soft and cuddly on the inside. His bluntness made me look like a damned diplomat.

"For my own peace of mind," she replied.

"Jess is smart. You taught her well. Let her live."

Mom called upstairs in a voice meant to drag me from Everquest. "Jess, dinner's ready." I grimaced and put my hands over my ears. "It's getting cold."

I tiptoed away from the banister and called to her from my room. "Coming!"

Trying to seem natural, I went downstairs. Despite my eavesdropping, my eyes still bugged out of their sockets when I saw the kitchen table. And my reaction wasn't fake.

Where my plate should have been, lay a perfectly wrapped box, covered in colorful bows and ribbons.

What in the world? My birthday isn't until Thursday. Today is only Sunday.

They began to sing the "Happy Birthday" song in harmony as I raced down the steps and toward my seat. Grinning like that idiotic cat from Alice in Wonderland, I stared at the colorful present. Once they'd finished, I lifted my shocked gaze to Mom and Grandad.

"Surprise!" Grandad said, raising his bushy eyebrows.

"We decided to give your gift to you early," Mom said, "so that you can take it with you to Holy Cross next weekend."