3.1 | Flawless | ✔

27 - What Could Have Been

Came Here For Love - Sigala, Ella Eyre

27 - What Could Have Been

Word count: 1550

  "Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."

- Mother Teresa  

***

"I know you love me."

He blinks, his mouth opening in shock. His eyes hold disbelief and a pinch of happiness - happiness that I know the truth.

"I always have," he says, running a hand through his brown hair. I think its grown a few inches since the last time I was having a proper conversation with him. "It just took me a long time to figure out that I loved you."

I smile sadly. The fact that everything that happened, happened to us shows that we aren't right for each other. Sure, I have a connection with him - I probably always will - but after everything that happened, I could never be with him. The harsh reality is agonizing but so true.

"I know," I pat his broad shoulder lightly. "I know."

He sighs and peers at me with his green eyes. The eyes I fell in love with.

"We never stood a chance did we?" He asks, half-heartedly. My head shakes, admitting the answer. Some things just aren't meant to be. We weren't meant to be. "I think we would have been great. No, amazing. We would have been amazing if everything was normal. If I hadn't messed up - if you hadn't left."

I don't want to say it but I still don't think we would have been great. Too much has happened. Callum had to learn from his mistakes, like me. I know, deep down, that we can never be anything more than friends.

We are just too different.

"You don't think so though." He states, gazing softly at me. My shoulders slump in defeat. He laughs, bitterly. "Oh wow, I really am a fuck up."

"No, you're not." I assert, clutching onto his forearm. "I know this is so cliche but it's not you, it's me. I just have this gut feeling that we weren't meant to be together. Yes, I still love you - I don't think that will go away. You're my first love, that will always stay with me. We both deserve someone better."

Callum stares at me intensely, internally debating with himself about whether to argue or not. I know he knows that we shouldn't be together. He also knows he's a better person now. He's learning from his mistakes and he's changed - okay, he's changing.

"Well," he breathes. "You have some sort of point. But...I don't think I can imagine being with anyone else but you."

My heart skids to a stop, collapsing on me. He still has an effect on me. Always.

"You can. You're just being stubborn." I retort. "Now, you are going to let me go."

"I never even had you." He counters.

"No, I meant let me go emotionally. Let your heart move on." I correct myself.

Callum's jaw clenches. His green eyes direct their attention off into the distance. I follow his eyes, stopping at the sight of a young couple playing frisbee together. I know what he's thinking: that could have been us. How do I get him to understand that it never would have been? If we had got together, it wouldn't have lasted long.

The young girl misses the frisbee and runs off to fetch it, unbeknownst to her that her boyfriend is following her with a mischevious face. He wraps his arms around her and hoists her into the air, with great ease. She squeals and giggles. Their actions leave me second guessing everything.