Love Slow - h.s.

6. Too Much

*Not Edited*

Stella Rose Wilder-

It's been nearly four days since Stevie's hospital visit. It's been two days since Luke left to live at his place again.

When we returned from the hospital, Luke had insisted on staying with us until Stevie went back to school. He really did feel guilty, but that didn't make me trust him with the kids any more than I did.

Currently, I found myself sitting in the window seat overlooking our little front yard nursing a glass of red wine in my hand. Stevie's bike was lying on its side next to the steps and there were a few balls and jump ropes littered around the lawn which I hadn't had the energy to pick up earlier.

My mind drifted to the day we'd bought Stevie her bike. She was four and had been begging for one for months. We'd gotten her the very pink, sparkly bike she'd point out every time we went to Target. Luke was thrilled to begin to teach her to use it and had rambled on about the look on her face after we gave it to her.

"Look! She loves it!" Luke exclaimed, pulling his phone out to video as Stevie wobbly rode her bike down the sidewalk. "Stevie, say hi! What are you doing?"

"Riding my new bike!" She screamed, laughing as she passed us and continued down the sidewalk toward the park.

Luke walked toward me, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and kissed my cheek, "I love you."

I stood up from the cushioned bay window and began to walk around the house, picking up toys along the way.

I stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, picturing a specific Christmas morning. It was a couple years ago, before we had Ford and Stevie was young. Both of our families were visiting, staying in our basement-turned-room and guest room. Our tradition of cinnamon rolls and pancakes was in full swing. My mom and dad were in the living room with Stevie and his parents had run to the grocery store to get some more coffee and a newspaper. Just as I was about to put the cinnamon rolls into the oven, I felt something cold splatter against my neck and heard a deep chuckle from behind me. I spun around to see Luke laughing next to the counter, his fingers covered in pancake batter.

"You didn't." I said, lowly.

He shrugged in response, just as I lunged forward and swiped my hand in the bowl, flinging batter at him in return. We both laughed, darting around the counter, trying to aim whatever food we could find at each other. We both froze, staring at each other when suddenly he lunged toward me, grabbing me around the waist as I squealed before he kissed me sweetly.

I sniffled, simultaneously squeezing my eyes shut and forcing my tears away. That was back before he changed. I don't know exactly when it was but a little while after that he just seemed... different.

I sauntered up the stairs after locking the doors, pausing in front of Ford's room.

I thought of the day we brought him home from the hospital. That was after he changed.

My parents had driven up from Philadelphia when we called them to let them know I was in labor and they were planning to stay for a while to help out since Luke was so busy with work. I had gone into labor early and he couldn't start his paternity leave for a couple more weeks.

I walked up the stairs, Luke following behind me. Stevie was downstairs with my parents preparing to make homemade pizza for dinner.

I nudged the door open with my foot and entered, letting Luke go in front of me toward the crib. He removed the stuffed animals and all but one, thin blanket, before I laid Ford in there.