Graveyard knell

Chapter 6: To be or not to be

Angel was filled with positive energy with Father Xavier's words. He was tall and handsome like her Frank. Some where the feeling that Frank was no more was getting erased from her mind. It was his birthday and she got a new friend who was a divine power like Christ the Lord. The blue eyes of the priest had some power and his Rosy lips were tempting.

He knew she was raped and he had got a Chocolate pastry for her.  The word Stressed, if written backwards meant Desserts.  Xavier did not knew much about Angel but she was connected to his heart. He felt like her friend.  Some unknown chords were touching him.  It was not a good Samaritan feeling for him but something else. It was a special affection.  He saw her eating the pastry like a child and her cheeks and chin were smeared with the Chocolate cream. He wiped it with his handkerchief. She forgot, she was raped and wanted to revenge. His warm caring touch, put a smile on her face. He did not return that smile. Petrusha took in charge of her room and gave her medicines.  The father made a sign of cross on her head and she got a Good night sleep.

He left for the church, driving his bike.Petrusha saw him till his bike vanished from her sight.  She closed her eyes and visualised him walking in the beach and she hugging him tight. 

God why did you make this man a priest?

Jesus, please change his mind,  I wanna be his wife, she prayed... 

Angel too dreamt Frank and she walking in a beach.  He was wearing his favourite black T-shirt and Denim shirt as his over coat.  She was just wearing her Sweat Shirt.  The sun was bright and he wore his glares.

He was the most handsome man, she knew ever and his face now changed in her dream and it became of Father Xavier.  He lifted her in the arms and see was staring at the sky. Her eyes were hurting due to the Sun light flashing inside.  The face of Father Xavier was changing to that of Frank and vice versa.   Something passed out from her internal organs and she got up and her dream broke. It was a filament of blood. She howled loudly and her friend Petrusha hugged her tight. She was crying and again questioning God:

Why was she born?

In school she was a weak student and teachers insulted her.  Kleptomania gave her Frank.  She was happy with him, exchanging love letters in Text books while the class room lectures were on.  Both would exchange glances, smile and talk in sign language.  High school days were the best days. They spent most of the time together and nobody stopped them as they  called it Study time. They snacked, drank Complan, cracked jokes and because of him she passed with First Class marks. He took Science and she too took that in college to be with him.  She wanted to take English Literature and be a poet but he loved Chemistry and Biology. She was scared of snakes, frogs and anatomy but with him she became strong.  Next year they would have been graduates and they had decided their post graduation but last year gave her the turmoil of his loss.  He was fit and fine, until he collapsed all of a sudden in the Chemistry lab. It must be due to weakness and he was discharged soon from the hospital 🏥

After a few days his condition was worsened and the doctors predicted 6 months of life. His family and Angel were shattered with the news that he was in the last stage of lung cancer but he wanted to live like a king.  Angel and he would spent the best time together on their terrace and she will play the best dance numbers for him.  They were planning to celebrate his  birthday and with his Parents permission, they have shopped the Birthday dress that turned to be his funeral attire.  Soon, he developed a viral fever and he was optimistic to go out with Angel to dine in a near by restaurant.  His condition detoriated just a few days back.  Angel promised him to get his favourite Pineapple cake on the bed side.  She has ordered ballons and bouquets.  The best cake was waiting for him but he passed away a day before his birthday.  Last year that day turned into a nightmare and this year too it became a dark day of her life. She was lost in her deep thoughts and it was again 3 am.  She went near the window and stared out at the dark sky and the empty streets. She was feeling restless and she just wanted to die.

LUCIFER GO AWAY
I WILL LIVE
I AM BRAVE
ENDING LIFE NO WAY

She sat on the bed and tried to calm her mind. Praying is worthless and what has prayers given me? She pondered...

God is great, her inner voice said.

Father Xavier became her Saviour and how can she forget that?

Tears and pain pinched her heart but Worry is a waste, she told herself.  Petrusha gave her an injection and she slept till 8. She woke up when Petrusha shook her hard. After freshing up, she ate the sandwiches she got from the Canteen.  Soon her mother, sister and father came to the hospital. They were not worried about her health but the bad name and the curses, their family will be gathering after the news of her rape is spread like a wild fire.

Who will marry me? Her sister asked.

She was worried about her marriage which was like a fairy tale. The family had not even searched the Charming Prince and that Prince too would be put to shame, if he marries Angel's sister.

So selfish is the World....
All relationships are materialistic
Family is Love
All masks are unfaced
When bad things happen...

Angel felt sorry about her family. She considered them their own but they too looked like snake shedding their skin.  She asked her father to pay hospital bills and return back the amount Fr. Xavier had spent over her. He agreed making a face as if she was responsible for her ill fate.

One week rest and care was needed more and her father cribbed of extra expenses.

Money was more important for them. More precious than her life.  Should she still live with this family?

To Be Or Not To Be
That is the Question

The words from Shakespearean Drama, "Hamlet,"  revolved around her head.

We are often confused with certain unwanted, unpredictable or unanswerable situations of life... A clear answer for To be or not to be is at times difficult...

What was going in Angel's mind?

Leaving her family was not a right solution for this 19 year old girl but they denied their support.  She wanted to fight for seeking justice to herself.  She had her own self-esteem. She wanted Degussa be punished with a Capital Punishment for all that he had done to her and her friend Cynthia Gomes.

PC:  Facebook....

Note: Angel is not an Atheist or Anti -God.  She is shattered and lost hope with the bad times that ruined her life.