S I N L E S S

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Bonnie Bakers birthday bash was the hottest party of the year. She managed to get the party swinging with grass, alcohol, and hot greaser girls. Curly went to the bash every year and drank until he couldn't remember his name, except this year, because his brother was chewing him out. It was going on three hours since Tim had seen Curly riding in the car with Jose, and he hadn't shut up since.

Seeing Jose had been banned in the Shepard Household, but no one had an actual legitimate reason on why. The whole family kept their distance from Tio Jose. It wasn't so hard to stay away from him, from what Curly could remember, he had been in prison most of his childhood and when he was out of prison he stayed a few towns over.

"Charles, you listening?" Tim asked.

Curly nodded and stared at the funny looking tattoo on his hand. It rested between his thumb and index finger. It was the official branding from the Shepard Gang, in other words, your mark that said you belonged to them. Curly could still remember the day he got initiated into the Shepard Gang, how ironic being that his brother was the founder. He still had to fight his way in just like everyone else. His eye was swollen shut for days and his bones didn't quite heal right, the memory would forever be burned into his brain.

"Yeah, si." Curly rushed out.

Curly's eyes turned to look at Tim's cold ones. He could never decide if Tim's eyes said they were regretful, disappointed, or angry with Curly. Maybe it was just all three. He felt kid of bad for being a menace and never doing the right thing, because there was a time when they actually got along. But once Curly turned sixteen, all the love for each other fell down a drain and they were always at each other's necks.

"Jose will fuck you over, entiendes? He ain't a good character. He'll get you into shit you ain't ready for."

Curly nodded slowly, he hoped to manipulate his way out of the conversation. Angela managed to do it all the time, blink her long eyelashes at Tim, flash her best puppy dog face and say "please" in the sweetest voice. There wasn't any way Tim would let Curly get away with it, he had to hear the whole lecture until he was tired of hearing his own self talking.

"You're only 16. Stop trying to grow up so fast."

The old paint chipping on the wall was far more interesting to look at than Tim's raging eyes. All he could see when he looked at Tim was the regret, anger, and disappointment. He know he was a fuck up but he hated being reminded that he was. It wasn't like he could help it much, not when he didn't have any real guidance.

Tim shook his head at Curly one last time and disappeared into his room. The look made Curly want to sink into the church pews and pray for forgiveness. He hated the way Tim could make him feel, and it just could be a look he gave him and he felt shitty. So much for a big brother bringing out the best in you.

Curly got up from the old lumpy couch and walked out the door, skipping over the raggedy steps and walked around town. He didn't have a destination in mind, he was sort of hoping that trouble would find him, just so he could have something to do and not have to worry about Tim's cold stares. But with his luck, trouble always found him when he didn't want it. How ironic.

He found himself outside the downtown Diner called Susie's. The owner was an aging Italian who didn't mind being the greaser hangout for chicanos and blacks. He was the only person who had enough guts to stay open late, but Curly knew it was because the crime rate was high where he lived. Pancakes and slushees made for a great meal after a good fight. At least for the Shepard Gang it did.

The wind blew around Curly, there was a slight chill to it surprisingly because it was still the beginning of September. There was a time Curly embraced the cold because lord knows that Tulsa could get hotter than Hades. But that was ages ago and his mind went sour after he lived in New Jersey for a few months and experienced their winter without any heat.

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