nostalgia || soonhoon

三

"thanks, seungkwan," jihoon smiled faintly as seungkwan waved jihoon goodbye. jihoon had ordered another drink so it wouldn't be suspicious to seungkwan. it was for soonyoung, jihoon said.

jihoon opened the front door of the coffeeshop as the bells jingled. he walked to his once shared home with soonyoung alone with the hot coffee in his right hand.

he was freezing and it was cold. he was shivering and his lips were blue. on the way home, he walked past the pet shop. there were a few adorable puppies put out in front for display.

that pet shop.

those puppies.

he remembered again

"jihoonie~ are you cold?" soonyoung asked stopping in his tracks.

"no shit sherlock. hurry, we're gonna miss my show!" jihoon rolled his eyes. soonyoung took off his jacket and wrapped it around jihoon. jihoon was about to take it off and reject it but soonyoung stopped him.

"your lips are blue, ji." soonyoung pointed to his lips. jihoon touched his lips and nodded without thanking soonyoung.

they walked past a pet shop and soonyoung immediately stopped.

"what is it again, soonyoung?" jihoon snapped. he wanted to get home as fast as he could to watch his favourite television show.

"i-i, t-the puppies are cute," soonyoung looked down and said in a small voice.

"so?" jihoon raised an eyebrow.

"c-can we get one?" soonyoung glanced at jihoon nervously.

"what do you think?" jihoon glared at soonyoung. soonyoung raised his head as his eyes lit up and was about to answer with a, "oh! so can we?"

but before soonyoung could answer, jihoon continued, "of course not! with you around it's already a burden! having a puppy around is gonna make it worse! who's gonna take care of it? you're so noisy! playing your music and dancing! i can't concentrate on writing my music!"

"o-oh, okay," soonyoung murmured as he had his head still lowered. jihoon groaned as he fasten his pace to their shared house. he was going to miss his show because of soonyoung. soonyoung scurried quietly behind jihoon.

by the time they reached home, soonyoung's face was wet and tear-stained but jihoon didn't notice. the first thing he did when he reached home was to plonk himself on the couch and turn on the television to watch his show.

jihoon didn't know soonyoung was sobbing in their shared bedroom.

jihoon blamed himself. if only he didn't snap at soonyoung. if only he was more patient. if only he loved soonyoung more. if only he cared for soonyoung's feelings. if only he checked on soonyoung. if only he cared for soonyoung more than his idiotic show. it wouldn't have happened.

the incident wouldn't have happened.