nostalgia || soonhoon

九

jihoon sighed as he walked out of his studio. he was tired. everywhere he went reminded him of soonyoung. jihoon felt his eyes water. he bit his lip as he walked home alone.

it was still cold season. the snow floated down and jihoon stared at them. he sighed for a second time. but this time tears came flowing out. jihoon missed him so much. so fucking much. he wanted to cry, scream, wail, shout, yell, sob. he hated himself.

jihoon reached his doorstep and found his hyung pressing on the doorbell, looking for someone. jihoon quickly wiped his tears and took a deep breath.

"h-hyung?" jihoon questioned, his voice cracked a little. seungcheol turned around and smiled when he saw jihoon soft and small in his oversized sweater and snow on his hair.

"jihoonie!" seungcheol exclaimed. jihoon frowned. only soonyoung was allowed to call him jihoonie.

"why are you here, hyung?" jihoon kept his cool and asked.

"w-well, you remember that night? you see, uh, i kinda wanna do it again." seungcheol admitted.

then it hit jihoon.

"hyung! no! it was a one time thing only! i was careless and irresponsible! i regret that night! anyways, don't you have jeonghan-hyung?" jihoon clenched his fists.

"i broke up with him. i did it for you jihoon. you hate soonyoung too, don't you?" seungcheol shrugged.

that was it. seungcheol pushed jihoon's buttons too hard. jihoon yelled and punched seungcheol. seungcheol staggered back as jihoon quickly entered his house.

"what the hell? jihoon?" jihoon could hear seungcheol's shouts from outside. jihoon screamed and shrieked as he slid down his door. he hugged himself and started sobbing.

that night.

that one night.

he was drinking.

but he was sober when he was with seungcheol.

he remembered again.

jihoon had won the competition he participated in and he had invited all his friends to celebrate with him. he was currently in the club with his friends, including soonyoung.

they were all drinking and having fun. jihoon didn't know what was happening. he was just drunk and happy.

"jihoonie! don't drink so much!" soonyoung snatched the drink away from jihoon.

"what the fuck, soonyoung? you dumb fuck? just let me drink! this is why i hate you! you're so annoying! i hate you~ i hate you~" jihoon started singing. he was drunk. soonyoung gulped. he now knew jihoon's real feelings about him. he laughed and shook his head. of course he was annoying. of course jihoon hated him.

soonyoung sighed as he placed jihoon's are around him. he was about to carry jihoon to his car and bring him home but jihoon pushed him away.

"go away! you're such a party pooper!" jihoon screamed. seungcheol heard the commotion and came.

"what's wrong, soonyoung? is jihoon okay?" seungcheol asked, worried.

"jihoon's a lil' bit drunk," soonyoung informed and jihoon replied with a 'no i'm not!'.

"it's okay, soonyoung. you should go home and rest. i'll take care of him." seungcheol patted soonyoung's back. soonyoung was about to protest back but jihoon shouted, "yeah! soonyoung! go home!"

"you heard him," seungcheol raised his eyebrow.

hearing his jihoon not wanting him, soonyoung was devastated. he left the club.

"jihoon, you should drink some water," seungcheol advised. he passed jihoon a cup of water and jihoon gulped it down. after a few cups, jihoon was finally sober.

"so what's wrong with you and soonyoung?" seungcheol asked.

"soonyoung's just getting really annoying recently. sometimes i really hate him." jihoon frowned.

"you know, jihoon, i'm always here for you. i can help you." seungcheol's voice got deeper as he leaned closer to jihoon. jihoon stared into seungcheol's eyes and leaned closer as well.

things started to get out of hand. seungcheol drove them to jihoon's house while making out in the car.

they kissed while removing the pieces of cloth that was in between them. they made it to jihoon and soonyoung's bedroom.

and did the thing.

soonyoung wasn't at home. he was drinking at another bar. he had to get things off his mind.

but when soonyoung reached home. he found his boyfriend and his friend fucking in his boyfriend's and his bedroom.

it broke his heart.

jihoon didn't know soonyoung was sobbing in their living room.

if only jihoon didn't say those words to soonyoung. if only jihoon wasn't drunk. if only jihoon loved soonyoung more. if only jihoon cared for soonyoung more. if only jihoon didn't do it with seungcheol. it wouldn't have happened.

the incident wouldn't have happened.

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a/n: yo sorry not for updating recently. school sucks & i'll be putting starbucks on hold until i end this book :D