Laughter [Tobuscus/Toby Turner]

Chapter Thirteen

Before I know it, Toby is spiraling into a depression he can't control. I think it hit both of us hard, the fact that Gryphon was gone forever, but it hit Toby like a freight train.

He tried to stay with his video-schedule, but eventually he just stopped. No more vlogs, no more Literal Trailers, no more Happy Wheels. He just stopped making his videos. Although, I can't say that I blame him.

The last video he did up until now talked about Gryphon, about his life and then his death. I watched him from the doorway as he pressed "Upload," not bothering to wipe the tears off his face. But I can't say that he doesn't check up on the Audience, because occasionally I'll just see him going through pictures or comments.

I call everyone. Jack, Gabe, Olga, Sean, everyone. I asked Toby if he wanted to do it himself, but he just shook his head and went to take a nap. So I call them, holding up as best as I can while talking and then crying in between. All of them sound genuinely broken, and Olga cries. They all ask to come visit. I have to turn them down, due to the state Toby's in. They understand. I tell them that they can come to the burial if Toby lets them. They say that that would be good. One of us hangs up.

Toby spends a lot of his time in his room, which puts stress on our relationship big time. I decided to give Toby a little space, with his consent, of course, and I went back to my house for a few days. It was strange not sleeping by Toby's side, but eventually I adjusted. I spend a lot of time watching Toby's videos and reading comments, a lot of which are negative.

Unsubscribing because you don't upload anymore.

Do you even care about us?

You're not as funny as you used to be.

You've changed.

And maybe I would let it be if Toby was himself, but considering the circumstances I have to say something. So, I pull out my phone and text Toby, asking for the TobyTurner password. He gives it to me without hesitation, throwing me off a little, but nevertheless I make a vlog telling the audience not to be so mean to Toby, because it's only hurting him more.

After a few days, my phone finally buzzes with a text from Toby, and I anxiously open my phone to find two words. "Come over." That's all it says, but I still throw some clothes on and hurry out the door.

When I get to Toby's house, I find the door unlocked and head inside. I look around at the messy floors and sigh, calling out to him. When I don't get a reply, I walk through the sliding doors that lead to the back porch and see Toby, kneeling over beside a tree. I call his name, walking over to him, my hands in my jacket pockets. It's cold, considering it's early February, and he looks up at me.

The life in his eyes is gone. He hasn't shaved, his face a mess of stubble, and I can only see little sprigs of his hair poking out from under his hood. His jacket is zipped up, and he holds an X-acto knife loosely in one hand. In the tree, I can see little markings, and if i look closer I can see that they form words. My heart breaks.

Here Lies Gryphon, a.k.a Falcor The Urinator, a.k.a The Greatest Dog That Ever Lived.

To the side of Toby I can see a shovel lying on the ground, and I gesture to it. He looks down at the tool and then meets my eyes again. "I decided I would bury him today." He explains, and his voice is dead, almost robotic. He stands up, brushing off his jeans. "I need you to go get him. I have a box ready, it's his size, but I don't wanna go get him. I think I might break down again." He whispers the last part, looking at his feet.

I hug him before I go.

- - -

Gryphon fits inside the box nicely, and I offer to help dig the grave. Toby insists that he wants to do it himself, so I let him, heading inside and watching him from where it's warm. Occasionally I go out and talk to him for a bit, but he's not normally up for it. So, I stick to making him hot chocolate and watching him.

He starts to cry about halfway through digging, and I watch him as he digs and his body shakes and he digs some more. He get's more aggressive, pounding his shovel into the ground, and he almost cuts himself. I run outside to him as he furiously digs deeper, crying harder still, and run in front of him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking them.

"Toby! Toby, stop!" He stops digging and looks up at me, his nose red, not just from the biting cold. Tear stains streak his face, and he hesitates, looking down at the ground. He gasps and drops the shovel, then looks back at me. I can see the tears welling in his eyes, and before I can stop myself, I'm crying too. We don't say anything and he lets me pull him in for a hug, and we stand like that for a while. Out in the freezing cold, he sobs into my shoulder, and I sob into his, and we whisper to each other, our breaths fogging in the air, and I console him.

"It's going to be alright, Toby."

"I miss him."

"I know you do."

"I want him back, I don't want to let him go."

"I'm so sorry, Toby."

I help him dig the rest of the grave, occasionally leaning over to brush away a tear or kiss him on the cheek.

"You're so strong, Toby. I love you."

Eventually, as we're bent over the fully-dug grave, Toby lowers Gryphon into it and starts to cry again. I wrap my arm around him as he sobs, reliving memories and letting it all out. Even after we put all of the dirt back, we just sit there, not caring that we're freezing our asses off.

I look over at Toby, who's staring down at the mound of dirt, eyes wide, silent, still. He looks so sad, and I can't help but try to cheer him up.

"Toby." He glances at me, then back at the ground. "Remember what you told me when we first met?" He shrugs half-heartedly. I clear my throat. "Laugh, it feels good." He rolls his eyes. "Dude," I continue, switching to my best surfer impression. "Sometimes you just gotta... let go of your emotions. Ride those waves." He looks up at me, then a smile breaks across his face and he laughs.

"See?" I ask, still referencing the day we met. "There ya go."

- - -

SHORTER CHAPTER THAN USUAL BUT I HAVE BIG PLANS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

So I've been updating this a lot more lately bc we've gone from 1K reads to 1.2K reads in one chapter, so I guess this is pretty loved?

Also, this chapter, dammit. I can't.

I referenced chapter 2 js

~ Hollie xx