You Help Me Live (Camren)

Chapter 25: In the End (Lauren's P.O.V)

(Go check out my upcoming story called Dreaming of You when you can!! It's on my profile!)

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Lauren's P.O.V: 

It was cold. It always seemed so cold when I came here. No matter the day, or the month, or the season, it was always cold. Some would say that it was because it made me sad to come, but I didn't think that was the case. When I got exactly where I was going, it was the warmest place I could think of. The journey to get there was the cold part. 

I climbed out of my car and took in a breath. I had grown accustomed to the air that surrounded this place. I couldn't quite place the particular scent with other memories, but I knew that if I smelled it, I was closer to where I wanted to be. 

So many days had been spent here. Some were sad, and painful to bear, while others acted like somewhat of a release. Memories were placed carefully into a box to be pulled out over the periods of time I sat in this place. It was like opening a box found in the depths of your attic after many years of forgetfulness, and examining all the riches it held in great detail. 

As my feet slowly found the path that led where I wanted to go, I allowed my thoughts to drift off into oblivion. Today was the day. Everything was finally finished, and I could finally say it all. 

I thought about how many I had seen just like me. I thought about the children who came, and the parents that were left without their other half. It hurt to see others feel the same pain. 

It didn't take long for me to get there. It was a short, but slow walk. I always traveled a bit slower when I thought about things. It was like my mind needed my feet to slow down, so it wouldn't fall behind. 

I found the bench I had practically claimed my own from all the hours I had spent sitting there. Once I had almost stayed the entire night before Ally came and got me. I remembered all the nights I spent in Ally's arms just letting everything sink in. It was just so much to take in. 

Dinah had been a there for me too. She would get me out of bed, and dressed so I could at least go to school. School didn't matter to me anymore. Everything had changed so much. It was like I was on a completely new planet. The atmosphere was thicker and it always made me cry. 

I could easily recall the first few weeks of it all. It had happened so suddenly, and it was a complete shock to me. I remembered what I was doing when I got the call. That was the call that shattered me. 

You would think that if you lock yourself in a room, and smother your head into a pillow, covering your ears as you yelled at the top of your lungs; that you might stop hearing about things. It seems that mankind doesn't like making things that easy though. 

It was plastered in the papers, and screened daily by the news. No matter where I went, I heard people whisper about it. Eventually, I just stopped going. I locked myself in my room, and cried more than I thought possible. It wasn't always sad crying. Sometimes the tears were filled with anger, self-pity, self-hatred; anything that could muster up the liquid to make me cry. 

The flashbacks were probably the worst. The flashbacks of what I could have been doing in those moments, and what I was doing, are so different, but they hurt to relive.  

"Well, I guess we have come full circle haven't we." I said knowing that I could spend the time I had at home to sit and think. When I was here, it was my time to talk things out. 

"Who knew that someone could be so interested in my idea? I mean, she said that it might sell across the country if we are lucky." I kept speaking. I knew that the conversation was always one sided, but I needed to say it.