i'm only given clues

Chapter 5

Strangely, the first words she manages to produce after Ryan's admission are not fueled with anger, nor are they upset or ashamed. She honestly doesn't know what to think, let alone say and she just shakes her head dumbly until she hears the water shut off from the bathroom.

"I can't do this right now," she says honestly and Ryan looks at her like it's the worst thing she could ever have done, more than hitting her and undoubtedly calling her a whore in one or both of her two languages. Normani just doesn't feel or look anything but confused, and they both know that it's the worst thing for both of them.

They work on argument and debate, on calling each other out when they mess up. It's their responsibility to tell each other when they're being a complete idiot and Normani's not doing that.

She's not doing her job as Ryan's best friend because she can't, and they both know that's worse.

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Dinah looks between them once she exits the bathroom, sensing the tension in the room instantly. She moves to guard them from each other and her eyes grow wide with worry.

Normani shakes her head and takes her by the hand, satisfied when Dinah's shoulders slump in ease. Ryan still has that look on her face, but Dinah barely gets to look at it before Ryan is grabbing her sleepwear and heading for the bathroom.

"What's going – " Dinah starts but Normani shakes her head.

"It doesn't matter," she says abruptly, partly in refusal to accept it, partly because she doesn't know how to handle it and mostly because this was meant to be their night and Ryan ruined that.

She leads her to the bed and darts her eyes to the closed bathroom door before she strips Dinah of her clothes and sheds the sheet from her own body.

"Normani," Dinah warns her, grabbing at the sheet as it slips down her body, "What about Ryan?"

Normani rests their foreheads together, pulls Dinah in to her body until there's so seams separating them.

"Your skin against my skin," Normani says and Dinah shivers at the reminder of her own words.

Without another word, Normani pushes them both to the bed and curls their bodies together, shielded beneath the too hot and heavy covers.

/

They fall asleep staring at each other.

Normani's pretty sure that Dinah's only keeping her eyes closed to make sure she doesn't leave.

She suddenly has the urge to tell Dinah that watching her sleep is the only way she's indulged the feelings she has for her since before they'd even kissed.

There's just something about the way that Dinah's heartbeat slows to such a beautifully even and steady pace that makes her own wildly, uneven one feel safe enough to follow. Otherwise it beats so fast that her body simply buzzes with fear.

She wraps her arms around Dinah and pulls her into her chest. Wordlessly, she guides Dinah's ear to her heart and lets her listen to the erratic beat, hoping that she understands. She doesn't expect her to, but Dinah does and she presses a tender kiss to the skin there, before placing her warm palm to the same space.

It's like she's trying to tell it everything's okay, that she's here now and Normani doesn't have to worry or be scared anymore.

Normani listens, and her heart slows instantly.

For the first time, Normani falls asleep before Dinah, completely calm and her heart at ease.

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