i'm only given clues

Chapter 10

Trigger Warning: blood and injury.

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Whatever they were all arguing about before quickly doesn't matter when they all hear her thundering down the stairs. They stop and eleven sets of eyes look at her curiously, watching her as she gets to bottom.

She ignores them all and pushes past Ty and Keith, forces Ally to jump out of the way, as she tries to get to the bureau by the door, desperate to grab her keys.

Except they're not there. Her hand pats desperately over the dark, aged wood but finds nothing. She lifts mail, tosses aside phone directories and guide books, frantically searching for them. She knows that she set them neatly beside Jacob and Ty's keys, just like they've been doing since they got here, but now all of them are gone. Even the keys to her grandma's caddy.

She feels anger bubble inside of her for what feels like the millionth time that day and rounds on them all. For the first time all trip, she honestly thinks she doesn't give a fuck about any of them. She'd gladly throw all of them off a cliff if it meant she got her damn car keys.

"Where are my fucking keys?" she snaps, even as she uselessly pats down her pockets. "Where are my fucking keys?" she repeats, just as she sees Ryan shift her eyes nervously to Quincy. He settles himself more comfortably in his chair at the glance. "Ryan!" she shouts, watching her eyes grow with guilt. She'll hit her if she needs to. She'll punch her for whatever information she has. She'll gladly fucking do it because God knows it's about time. "Where are my fucking keys?"

Ryan shakes her head adamantly but at least she has the decency to look terrified. She glances at Quincy before shaking her head over and over again. "It's too late, Normani."

"No," Normani says and there's this little part in the back of her brain that screams at her to think of her dignity, that this is exactly the last thing she wanted and she should stop right now. It's drowned out by the huge instinctive part of her that knows this was her last chance. "You're lying," she growls. "Give me my fucking keys... give me any fucking keys. Just give me some fucking keys."

They all look away from her as she swings around to all of them with her hand open. They all stare at their feet... All except Quincy, who stares off at the wall behind her with refusal in his eyes, and Ryan, who looks at Normani like she doesn't know whether to run from her or hug her.

"No?" Normani says and she knows that they all hate her, she knows that they all think that she's a bitch, but she'd hoped for just a little bit of compassion, some secret understanding to what this means. She briefly wonders what Dinah said to them and feels tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

"You're all just going to stand there?" she asks gently, her voice softer and more broken than she wanted it to be. She wants to be angry but she's starting to just feel hopeless.

She can see that same hopelessness reflected back in their faces as they look at her. She sees that pity that she was so desperate not to see. It's the one thing she was trying to avoid, one of the reasons she didn't want anyone knowing about them. She knew that she wouldn't be able to handle the looks in everyone's faces when she fucked it up, looking at her with pity knowing that she wasn't good enough.

It's worse than she thought it would be and that's what kicks her into action. That tiny sliver of hope still left alive inside of her that says she can make this better once and for all, makes her run as fast as she can.

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She's never run so fast in her life. She has no idea how she remembers the way and no idea how fast she gets there. All she knows is that she runs as fast as she can, letting her feet lead her where she needs to go.